Bones of Winter
by ZeMadame
Summary: Being kept in a safe house after a threat from the Bones of Wutai is not Yuffie's idea of fun. She's not sure which is worse: battling with her lingering feelings for Vincent and her growing ones for a certain redhead, or knowing that a well organized group of radical psychopaths wants her head on a pike. Reffie; reviews are lovely. Updated regularly!
1. The Rescue

_Author's Note: This idea smacked me one day and refuses to leave me be, so I'm getting it all out! I'm also hopelessly obsessed with Reffie, because they complete each other, damnit. There's also not enough Reno/Yuffie out there, and it needs to be fixed! There will probably be lots of mentions of the Turks. They're great; Tseng is not a stick in the mud, Elena is not an airhead, and Rufus Shinra is a crackfic personified. Rated **T** for language and waggling eyebrows (innuendo and some steam). So for your enjoyment, I bring you this. _

* * *

_**Bones of Winter**_

_**by Red (ZeMadame)**_

* * *

The news was all over the headlines of every paper in Edge before the reconnaissance group even made it back to the city. The Princess of the West, the Single White Rose of Wutai had been rescued alive. A small group had tracked down the location she was being held at, eliminated the surprisingly few thugs that were guarding her, and brought her to the sleek safety of a Shinra helicopter.

Tseng and Elena, along with a few carefully chosen Shinra troops, had infiltrated the make-shift base of the Bones of Wutai, the organization that had kidnapped Yuffie Kisaragi. She had been incapacitated by use of force on specific pressure points, but was otherwise unharmed. Only guarded by a handful of low level grunts with handguns, the mission had been a quick and easy one.

The princess, recovering quickly under Tseng's skilled care in the chopped, demanded to see her friends immediately.

"Apologies, Miss Kisaragi, but our orders are to take you to a medical facility upon your rescue," Tseng replied coolly.

"I don't give a damn about your orders," Yuffie snapped. "I was kidnapped, stuffed into a smelly van, and poked at until I couldn't move. I want to see my friends, and I want a corn dog from that stand on Third Street."

"That is impossible. Your father hired Shinra, and we are following his orders. Lord Godo wishes to ensure your health upon your safe retrieval," Tseng informed her. He leaned forward and rapped on the back of the pilot's chair. "Reno, take us out of here. Now."

"You take me to Tifa's bar right now, you skinny turkey jerk!" Yuffie cried, trying to sit forward. Elena calmly pushed her back down onto the makeshift cot.

"No can do, short-stack. Orders are orders," the red-head drawled, engaging the chopper in flight. The small ninja fought against Elena's grip on her shoulders.

"You are under the employ of Wutai and thereby under my employ and I _order_ you to take me to the bar," she hissed through clenched teeth. Tseng ignored her, Reno couldn't hear her, and Elena just shrugged sympathetically and pulled out her PHS. With an irritated snarl, Yuffie sat back, crossing her arms and hoping that her pouting was felt by everyone in the chopper.

It didn't take long to get back to Edge. It was after sunset when they landed on the roof of the hospital.

"Elena, you get Yuffie checked in. I need to speak with President Shinra immediately. I'll return as soon as I am able," Tseng shouted over the noise of the chopper.

"Of course, sir," Elena shouted back. She pulled Yuffie out of the way. "Come on," she called to the young ninja. "The hospital has reserved a private room for you." Yuffie delayed going into the hospital through the roof's entrance to scowl at the helicopter as it took off from the landing pad.

In the hospital room, Yuffie allowed herself to be hooked up to an IV drip, though she flat out refused to be stuffed into a "creepy hospital gown". She sat cross-legged on the bed, glaring at the back of the retreating nurse.

Elena moved from her place by the door and approached Yuffie, holding out her open PHS for the young Wutaian woman to see. _'We have Yuffie, she is safe and well. Room 224 at the hospital. She wants a corn dog from Third Street.'_ Yuffie read the text to Tifa quickly and grinned up at Elena as big as she could.

"Thank you," she said gratefully. Elena smiled gently and shut her phone, pushing it into a pocket of her suit. For a moment, a concerned look took over the blond Turk's features.

"Are you okay? I mean, they didn't… hurt you, did they?" she asked quietly. Yuffie blinked, touched at the Turk's worry for her. They didn't know one another well, but Yuffie felt a sudden connection to the other woman. She was also grateful that Elena didn't look at her with sympathy - just concern.

"No, nothing like that. I think they were waiting for something, or someone," Yuffie said with a shiver. Elena set her lips in a thin line. Just as her PHS beeped at an incoming message, Tifa and Cid entered the room. Upon seeing her friend, Tifa charged into the room and wrapped Yuffie in a fierce hug. Looking over the martial artist's shoulder, she smiled at Cid. The gruff pilot nodded at her, but she could see relief in his bloodshot eyes. He held up a thermos.

"I brought tea," he said. "But that corn dog stand was closed for the night. Sorry, kid." Yuffie groaned; she'd really been looking forward to that corn dog.

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked, pulling back and holding Yuffie's face in her hands.

"I'm okay, Tif. Really, I'm just tired," the petite ninja said in earnest. Cid held out a paper cup filled with steaming tea. Yuffie accepted it gratefully and wrapped her cold fingers around it.

"Um," Elena began. She stepped forward, her hands behind her back. "Tseng isn't able to come back here tonight. I would prefer to give you privacy with your friends, but I must listen and gather information." Yuffie nodded in understanding. Cid poured three more cups of tea and dropped into a chair. Taking a seat of her own, Elena crossed her legs and sat forward slightly. "Yuffie, will you tell us what happened?" she asked gently. Yuffie took a swallow of tea and launched into her story.

She had been staying in Edge with Tifa and Cloud. She'd heard about the Bones of Wutai; they were a resistance movement against the royal family of Wutai. The country had, since the WRO had taken root, been working toward peace with the rest of the world. This, in turn, required Wutai to begin to leave some of their more archaic traditions in the dust. The first one to be abandoned had been the rule about arranged marriages at the age of twenty-one, conveniently enough just before Yuffie's twenty-first birthday. The princess considered it a personal victory as Lord Godo addressed his people, beaming out at the people she would one day rule. Only a small number of people had been less than pleased at the announcement. Mostly it was the old folks and traditionalists. The young men of Wutai were especially pleased, as they now saw their chance to win the free heart of their princess.

Not long after these changes began to take place, the Bones of Wutai made their presence known. They were what they called Purists - extreme traditionalists. No one knew who their leader was. Several Emir, high ranking members within the organization, were known. At first, they were a simple resistance group dedicated to peacefully protesting the changes and eradications of Wutai's traditions.

They began to grow in numbers and spread across the world, reaching the eastern continents. Once this happened, the Bones of Wutai stopped being so peaceful. They believed that Shinra was directly responsible for what they called the deterioration of Wutai. They began vandalizing Shinra buildings and harassing employees of the company. And employee that stood up for themselves found their apartments ransacked. Then a new group of Emir rose to power within the organization, and that's when the murders started.

When the news of what the group was doing reached Lord Godo, he was outraged. Knowing that Wutai currently did not have the resources to deal with such an issue, he called upon his new ally, Rufus Shinra. The president, eager to put an end to the attacks once and for all, agreed to assist the western country. Despite their cooperation, the Bones of Wutai proved to be a well organized and obedient group, and fought well against Shinra's brute force. Some in Edge still considered Shinra to be more of a gang than a company intending to adone for past atrocities. Because of this, many thought of this as a gang war. And indeed it sometimes seemed like one, complete with a shootout in the streets.

Months into the informally declared war, Lord Godo, Rufus Shinra, and Yuffie received a message from the enigmatic leader of the Bones. A grainy video with a plain concrete wall background was played by three people in three different locations. A man in a dark cloak and a ghastly white Noh mask sat on a plain wooden chair. When he spoke, his voice was modulated, deep and unnatural. He did not speak of his purpose, or of the actions of his organization.

"_We are coming for you, little princess. Soon, the white rose of Wutai will fall to red, will bend to my will. You cannot run, Yuffie Kisaragi."_

It was all he said, and it was enough to make the viewer's blood run cold. Within moments, Rufus was shouting for his Turks while phoning for Cloud. Godo was livid, dispatching his swiftest messengers to find his daughter. Yuffie, white as a sheet, ran downstairs, shouting for Tifa or Cloud or anyone who might've been at the bar.

As it turned out, none of the members of AVALANCE were occupying the bar. Instead, there were two strange men standing in her path. A third grabbed her from behind, and her world went black.

Only six members of the Bones guarded Yuffie. They seemed to have been waiting for their leader. They kept her physically subdued for two weeks by jabbing at her pressure points, rendering her limbs useless. Aside from that, she was surprised with the respect they showed her, and how they made sure her every need was met.

"And then Tseng and Elena swooped in and became my knights in sharp black suits," Yuffie finished.

"Did they say when their leader would arrive?" Elena asked. The Wutaian girl shook her head.

"No, they were really hush-hush about it. They're not idiots, which totally sucks," she grumbled. Tifa had been holding her hand the entire time, and she gave it a squeeze.

"Did they say anything about why they wanted you, or where their boss is holed up?" the older woman asked gently.

"Nada. I can only guess they wanted me because I'm an awesome ninja princess," Yuffie sighed. Despite her attempt at her usual carefree cheerfulness, the ninja felt deflated and run-down. Tifa cast an anxious look at Cid.

"They ain't smarter than us, kid," he grunted. Elena nodded in agreement.

"The pilot is right, Yuffie," she said. "They don't know who they're dealing with." Just then, her phone rang. Excusing herself from the room, she flipped it open and took the call.

A brief silence fell over the three occupants of the room. Then, Cid spoke.

"What would they want with a brat like you anyway?" he grumbled. There was affection in his eyes, but irritation etched into his features, not directed at Yuffie. She smirked.

"I told you, I'm an awesome ninja princess - why wouldn't they want me?" Her old cockiness resurfaced, and she had to admit, it felt good. Tifa narrowed her eyes at Cid.

"What I think he means is that you don't even live in Wutai right now. You… I mean, don't take this the wrong way, Yuff, but you don't have any power there at this point. Aside from extorting from your father, what could they want?" Tifa wondered.

"They _want_ my foot up their ass," Yuffie complained.

"Them Turks will find out what they want. They're… slippery," Cid said, waggling his fingers.

"That we are, Cid," Elena said with a little smile, re-entering the room quietly. She looked at Yuffie. "Tseng wants to see you tomorrow morning. He has word from your father. I'm to escort you to headquarters tomorrow at first light."


	2. Safe House

"You're putting me _where_?" Yuffie's voice was nearly shrill. She slapped her palms down on Tseng's desk and leaned over it, glaring at the older Wutaian. Tseng's hands were folded neatly on top of an invoice from Rufus Shinra. He gazed at her calmly.

"Into protective custody. You will be escorted to one of the company's old safe houses, where you will remain until the threat is neutralized," the Turk said smoothly.

"Like hell I will," Yuffie snapped. "I'll be perfectly safe at the bar. Tifa and Cloud live there and in case you forgot," she took a breath, then screamed, "_we defeated Sephiroth!_" Tseng pursed his lips.

"No, I have not forgotten. However, Cloud and Tifa cannot be expected to drop everything going on in their lives to guard you every moment of the day," he replied. Unfolding his hands, he pressed a button on the phone on his desk. "This is the wish of Lord Godo, and President Shinra agrees that this is the best course of action given the circumstances."

Not a moment later, the door opened. Elena and Reno walked in, standing a few feet behind Yuffie. Elena held her arms professionally by her sides, while Reno jammed his hands in his pockets, slouching.

"Yo," he murmured, winking at her. Yuffie, who had turned to watch their entrance, spun back around to glare at Tseng. He held up a hand, silencing her.

"My Turks are appropriately capable of safe-guarding you. They have been trained to handle these exact types of situations, and will be able to spot possible threats much more quickly than even Cloud could," Tseng told her. Yuffie scowled. Before the events involving the Remnants, she would have dismissed this claim. However, the Turks had proved their resilience and determination and had redeemed themselves in the eyes of AVALANCE, if not the rest of the world.

"Elena and Reno will escort you to Seventh Heaven. It is currently vacant. You will have one hour to gather what you cannot live without and then you will be taken to the safe house. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah, how fast do ya think you are?" the ninja asked impishly, her body tensing. Tseng sighed.

"Your father has authorized the use of reasonable force to ensure that you comply," he said, somewhat grim. Yuffie's jaw dropped.

"He WHAT?" she screeched. "When I get back to Wutai, I'm going to use his femurs for chopsticks!" Behind her, Reno snorted, his shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter. "Don't make me call Reeve. I'll have the whole of the WRO on your asses in an hour." Reno chuckled.

"Who d'you think funds the WRO, sugar?" he remarked.

"Reno," Tseng chided. He flicked a meaningful glance at Elena. The blond Turk stepped forward and gently placed her hand on Yuffie's elbow.

"Yuffie, he's doing what he can to protect you. When you fought Sephiroth… he worked in the open, left a trail of bodies behind him. It wasn't hard to figure out where to go next." She smiled gently, like an older sister would. "And you kicked his ass. But these guys work in the shadows. They're secretive and sly. We may be different now, but it was once our job to think and act like them. You've already been taken once, and they can do it again. We can make sure that doesn't happen. Let us help you," she implored. Yuffie allowed Elena's beseeching words to sink in, then threw her hands in the air in defeat.

"Fine! Ugh, you damn Turks…" she grumbled. "I suppose I can't tell Tif what's going on?" she mumbled miserably.

"Unfortunately not. If any of your friends knew our plans, the information could be tortured out of them. To prevent harm from coming to them, they must remain in the dark," Tseng explained.

"Can I text her once I'm there? Just to let her know I'm okay?" she asked, her voice noticeably smaller.

"No. They might be able to trace the call and discern your location thusly," the leader of the Turks said.

"Of course," the ninja muttered. "I knew being so awesome would come back to bite me in the ass one day." She spun around, poking Reno hard in the chest. "Before we leave, _you_ are getting me a corn dog from Third Street." And in a huff, she left Tseng's small office.

"Keep her safe," Tseng ordered his Turks. Elena nodded tersely and spun on her heel, hurrying after Yuffie.

"Sure thing, boss-man," Reno drawled. "Enjoy your tea." He smirked to himself and turned before he could see the older Turk's eyes narrow at his underling.

By the time they reached the entrance to the building, Yuffie had cooled down a bit. She was still irritated at the whole situation, but she really didn't feel like being knocked out and dragged to some underground compound in the mountains, or whatever the Turks had planned for her.

Elena walked beside her, long legs easily keeping stride with the ninja's bounding steps. Reno lagged behind, humming tunelessly and swinging his EMR.

"So, why you guys?" Yuffie asked. "I mean, why are the Turks babysitting me and not someone more expendable, like the army?"

"They're expendable now? Thinkin' like a Turk, midge," Reno called from behind.

"Can it," Elena sang. "Like I said, we're trained for this sort of thing. "It's what we're good at. Tseng picked Reno because he can keep up with you, and I can keep a lid on Reno," she said cheerfully.

"What about Rude?" Yuffie wondered. "Isn't he usually attached to your hip?" Beside her, Elena chuckled.

"Hah! Rude encourages every bad habit that Reno's got. They'd have you chain smoking and stripping through the streets before the end of the week," she said with a smirk.

"Aw, don't be so harsh, yo!" There was a feigned hurt in his voice. "It'd probably take about two weeks to crack her walnut."

"You'd have better luck with Cloud - his screws are more loose than mine," Yuffie said with a grin, biting down a giggle as a picture of Cloud running nude through the streets of Edge flitted through her mind. He's already got cross-dressing under his belt; she bet she could get him to strip after a few good shots.

As they exited the building, Elena guided them toward a very plain, nondescript blue sedan. Reno stepped ahead of them, fishing in his pockets. Frowning, he thrust his hand into his other pocket. While he searched frantically for the keys, Elena sashayed past him with a smirk on her face, twirling the missing keys. His blue-green eyes widened.

"Wha- Hey!"

"You're a terrible driver," she quipped. "Open the door for Yuffie." Reno made an indignant noise while the ninja grinned widely at him, placing her fists on her hips.

"You heard her," Yuffie crowed. "Open my door, turkey slave!" Grumbling, Reno yanked the door open and resisted the urge to pick the little ninja up and toss her into the vehicle. She slithered into the back seat and he slammed the door. He opened the passenger side door and as he tried to slide in, his hip collided with Yuffie's shoulder. There she was, in his seat, grinning like a cat.

"You're bony, turkey. You should have a corn dog too," she said, barely containing her laughter. Reno spluttered, more annoyed than angry. He cast a helpless look at his co-worker, who was staring straight ahead and trying very hard not to laugh. "Into the back seat, man servant." Scowling, he slammed the door and flung himself into the back seat, growling to himself.

"So this is how it's going to be. An estrogen party until the Bones are bones. Awesome."

* * *

Yuffie had only an hour before their departure. The bar was, like Tseng said, devoid of anyone. She threw her clothes into a few duffel bags, along with some miscellaneous items for entertainment, grabbed her Conformer, and picked up all of her Materia, and then took all of Cloud's. She figured it was a life-or-death situation and that he would understand. Besides, she had full intentions on returning it, whenever her exile ended. Reno poked his head into her room, glancing around with sharp eyes.

"No corn in here, turkey," she told him.

"You're hilarious," he said sarcastically. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Just making sure that you're not leavin' any notes for blondie or Mega-Tits or the Bones to find." Yuffie frowned at him.

"Chill, ye of little faith. No note, see?" She swung her arms around for emphasis. Reno narrowed his eyes and peered around suspiciously, satisfied with the lack of paper scraps or pens.

"Just hurry up, will ya? Third Street is twenty minutes away an' you're wastin' time on useless things like clothes," he complained.

"Blech! I hope _you_ packed some clothes, old man. If I get one look at your saggy bits, I'll have to poke my beautiful eyes out," she said with a grimace.

"You'd be blinded by their perky, firm glory anyway, so yer eyes would be useless," he boasted, waving a hand dismissively and turning to walk away.

"As if. Here, make yourself useful and carry this," she told him, tossing a duffel bag at him. He caught it reflexively, falling back a step from its weight.

"Like guarding you for the next goddess knows how many weeks isn't useful enough. What's in the bag anyway, princess? Bricks?" Yuffie stood up and turned around, holding an enormous cat that more closely resembled a small leopard than any domestic feline.

"A cat box, litter, and food for Jezebel," she replied happily. The giant cat mewed loudly, though Reno thought it sounded more like a roar.

"She'll be fine here. You're not bringing her," Reno said, his eyes narrowed. Yuffie glared at him.

"I am so. I don't go anywhere without Jezebel, and she'll destroy the place if I leave her; she'd be heartbroken," she said stubbornly.

"Absolutely not. I hate cats," the red-head protested.

"Good, I'm sure she hates turkeys, too," Yuffie snapped.

"Put the cat down and let's go."

"Make me!"

"What in the name of the planet are you two arguing about?" Elena came up behind Reno. "Ooh, a kitty!" She shouldered her colleague aside and made a beeline for Yuffie and her cat, a wide smile on her pretty face. Reno groaned in defeat, feeling his testosterone drop a little further.

"I'm gonna murder Tseng."

A half an hour later, they were ensconced once more in the blue sedan with the heavily tinted windows. Yuffie was happily consuming her third corn dog, Elena was carefully picking her way through a pothole-ridden section of the road, and Reno was reluctantly sharing the back seat with Jezebel. The gigantic at seemed to adore him, despite Yuffie's earlier declaration. She purred loudly and curled up against his side, depositing her massive head into his lap.

"Hey Reno, I got a question for ya," Yuffie said.

"Shoot, princess," he said absently.

"Do you like seafood?" The Turk furrowed his brow. What an odd question.

"I guess. Don't really-" Then, Yuffie turned around and opened her mouth, showing him a wad of chewed corn dog and mustard.

"Thee? Thood!" She swallowed the mouthful and snorted in a very un-princess-like manner.

"You're gross, yo," he said. He tried to sound disgusted, but his laughter escaped anyway.

"Ha, like you're one to talk. You're going to pull that on Tseng as soon as you can," Elena chimed in, a grin on her face. Reno smirked, but he couldn't deny it.

"I expect full credit for that, turkey," Yuffie said.

"Oh, sure. I'll add a disclaimer while I'm dodging bullets," he muttered.

"Aw, I'm sure he just wants to keep you on your toes in your old age," she consoled.

"Tseng's older than I am, kid," Reno smirked.

"I'm not a kid," she pouted. And what is it with you guys, anyhow? Cloud says Tseng looks the same as he did ten years ago."

"We're actually undead; we'll never age," the redhead intoned gravely.

"Spoilers, Reno," Elena warned, a grin on her face.

"I knew it. That explains Vinnie; Cloud owes me ten gil," the ninja affirmed.

"Your vampire boyfriend? No, Hojo explains him. That maniac never came near any of us, yo," Reno said, shuddering at the thought of the mad doctor.

"So if you didn't get any mako exams, then what keeps Tseng so pretty-boy?" she asked.

"Makeup," Reno answered seriously. Elena rolled her eyes.

"Turks aren't just random people plucked off the streets. I mean, they can be," she amended, glancing back at Reno. "They've got to pass pretty stringent health and DNA exams, and fall within certain parameters." She winked at Yuffie. "We've got really great genetics."

"So you're all just naturally pretty, smooth skinned people?"

"I knew you thought Tseng was pretty. I saw the way you leered at him," Reno teased.

"Prettier than you, turkey," Yuffie responded. "Chocobo-head showed me a picture of Tseng; I want his secret to keeping crow's feet away!" She tugged at the corners of her eyes.

"We're like a good fabric softener - we're wrinkle-free," Elena laughed. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't realize that they'd arrived until the blond flipped the shifter into 'park' and turned off the car. Yuffie stared out the window, her expression mildly horrified and wholly unimpressed.

"This is the safe house?" She got out of the sedan and stared at what she thought was the least safe looking building she'd ever laid eyes on.

It was an old warehouse just outside of Junon. Half its windows were missing and the other half were broken. The metal sides were heavily rusted, though it looked as though shoddy attempts at patchwork had been made over the years. The roof visibly sagged and weeds surrounded the whole complex, jutting up through the concrete. Bits of scrap metal and wood, even a few deflated tires, littered the property. She looked at Reno and Elena, who had exited the car and were staring at the dilapidated building before them with a certain look of fondness.

"It look like it'll give me tetanus before it'll keep me safe from anything," the ninja deadpanned.

"That's the idea," Elena replied with a grin. Reno produced a small remote from the inside pocket of his jacket and pressed the first grey button. One of the garage style doors opened with surprisingly little screeching.

Elena slid back into the sedan, Yuffie and Reno following suit. She drove them right into the warehouse, parking directly under a giant mechanical claw with a magnet in the center. Behind them, the loading door slowly began to close. The three of them sat in silence, waiting for the door to shut.

"Is the claw going to take us to another dimension?" Yuffie asked, breaking the silence. She had turned herself around in the passenger seat to stare out the back window.

"You'll see," Elena said. Once the door had closed, Reno pressed the second button. With a great groan and a shudder, the floor beneath them began to move down. Yuffie let out a little gasp of excitement and pressed her face against the window. Below them, the floor opened up, allowing the platform to continue its descent. When it finally stopped, Elena put the car in reverse and pulled off of the platform. Reno pressed the second button again and the platform began to ascend to its original position. Elena shut the car off once more and Yuffie scrambled out of it, taking in her surroundings with wide brown eyes. They were parked in an underground garage. It was plain and grey, the plaster chipping in a few small spots. There were gas cans, presumably full, on a metal shelf on one side of the garage, along with a variety of tools, tires, wires, and plugs. Elena and Reno climbed out of the sedan, followed by Jezebel, who leapt out lightly and padded over to Yuffie. The blond Turk put her arm around Yuffie's shoulders and looked at the only door in the room.

"We'll let the big, strong man unload the car, and us delicate flowers can explore and pick the best rooms for ourselves," she said cheerfully. She opened the door and ushered Yuffie inside. Jezebel followed them, her long tail disappearing around the doorframe.

"Delicate flowers my ass," Reno grumbled, popping the trunk open. He'd gotten his ass handed to him by Yuffie more times than he cared to admit, and he knew for a fact that Elena had a certain predisposition for breaking bones at horribly gruesome angles. Those two were about as delicate as one of his homemade bombs.

* * *

Yuffie and Elena passed through a laundry room with an enormous washer and dryer, a folding table, sorting bins, and hangers.

"This is one of President Shinra's preferred safe houses. It's fully stocked with everything you could need," Elena explained. "And when it was decided that this is where we were bringing you, we had it freshly stocked and updated to suit you a little better." She opened a door, and Yuffie walked through into a kitchen.

Bright and big, the room looked like it belonged in a grand mansion rather than a safe house. An island in the center had a flat stove top. Above that, pots and pans hung from a rack that dropped down from the ceiling. There was the biggest French door style refrigerator that she had ever seen, a dishwasher, and a trash compactor. A giant mixer sat on the counter, along with a large toaster and a food processor. Double ovens were mounted into the wall. Barstools sat around the island, and a table and chairs occupied the far end of the kitchen.

"Sweet Leviathan," Yuffie whistled, running her hand along the marble countertop. "Ol' Rufus didn't spare any gil, did he?"

"Most of this was put in by his father, years before his death. Apparently, though, most of it was tastelessly decorated. Rufus redesigned a lot of it, but left the kitchen mostly intact," the Turk said. "There's just about everything you need to make whatever you want." Elena tapped the freezer with her foot. "Including a nice supply of corn dogs." Yuffie smiled. She liked Elena; maybe her time here wouldn't be all that bad.

She wandered over to an open doorway and gasped, bouncing on the balls of her feet before sprinting into the next room. The living room was spacious, but cozy. Large bookshelves filled with volumes lined the far wall. A large, solid oak entertainment center housed a truly huge flat-screen television. When she opened the doors on either side, she found them packed with DVDs and video games. A surround system was hooked up: two enormous speakers sat on the floor, and each corner of the room had a smaller speaker mounted to the ceiling. The deep red couch was enormous and comfortable looking. Yuffie confirmed this as she launched herself onto it, executing a perfect belly flop. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be two connected sectionals, creating half a square. In the space between the ends of the couch was a matching ottoman and an oaken coffee table. Various paintings hung on the walls, and she sat up as she recognized some of them. Da Chao at sunset, the Pagoda, a blossom tree.

"There were a bunch of portraits of Rufus, but Reno and I figured you'd appreciate these more." Elena's voice interrupted the silence.

"They're really beautiful," the ninja murmured. "Who picked them out?" Elena shrugged.

"I don't know. Reno and Rude flew out here last night with a few… upgrades. I guess they picked them out of a storehouse or something." Yuffie's eyes lingered on the painting of Da Chao and she felt a pang of homesickness. She never felt this way at the bar, but she suspected that it was because she knew she could leave whenever she wanted. Blowing a raspberry, she walked away from the painting.

"Where are the bedrooms?" she asked, spinning to face Elena.

"Down the hall. We picked the middle room for you. Reno and I will be on either side," the blond said.

"I told Tseng you'd be safer if you slept with Laney while I stood guard, but he didn't appreciate my creativity," Reno drawled as he walked into the room. He dropped several bags, letting them fall haphazardly. Elena scowled at him.

"Because Tseng is smart. And be a little more careful with my bag," she sniffed. "I'd hate to see the gun shoot a hole in it. It's new."

"Tch, carry it yourself, then." He walked back to the kitchen and retrieved his own bags. "And I'm not touching that giant pinwheel of yours with a ten foot pole, princess," he announced. Yuffie rolled her eyes and shouldered past him.

"Crybaby," she muttered. Reno shrugged, then grinned at Elena.

"Ready for vacation?" She crossed her arms.

"While neither you nor Yuffie are bad company, I wouldn't call this a vacation," she said archly.

"Aw, why's that? Too little Tseng?" he teased. She picked up her bags and blew her hair out of her eyes as she straightened.

"Too little sand and too few shirtless blonds," she replied.

"I could take me shirt off," the redhead offered helpfully.

"I drink with you every Friday, Reno. Nothing I haven't already seen. You might kill Yuffie, though," she pointed out.

"Women _have_ been known to swoon at the sight of me," he considered.

"More like they have a heart attack and die," Yuffie commented, bouncing into the kitchen with her Conformer in her hand. "Move over, I don't want to get old man turkey blood on my pretty weapon." Reno's eyebrow twitched.

"Why would you throw it at me?" Rolling her eyes, Elena grabbed his arm.

"She means you're hogging the whole path." She pulled him out of the way and Yuffie hopped past him. Jezebel trotted out of the kitchen and wandered down the hall. Yuffie followed her pet and ducked into the second room.

The large, dark walnut four poster bed against the center of the far wall was decorated with a forest green comforter and matching pillows. The dresser, mirror, and nightstand were all the same rich walnut colour; combined with the green and ivory wainscoting on the walls, it pulled the room together in a cozy, warm glow. In the corner of the room to the left of the door was a large, squashy black armchair with a matching ottoman. Beside that, a couple of bookshelves stood; they were only half full, which pleased Yuffie. She'd brought some of her own books to read.

She set her Conformer down, propping it against the wall, and moved to the bed. Jezebel had perched herself on it, bright green eyes fixed loyally on her mistress. Yuffie sat down next to her and threw her arms around the big cat.

"This is home for a while," she whispered. Sighing, she flopped down, her legs dangling over the edge. Jezebel stepped up and laid down on her, eliciting a grunt from the ninja.

"You're not a two pound kitten anymore, yanno," she breathed. Jezebel curled her tail around her body and nuzzled her head between Yuffie's breasts. Sighing in defeat, she tucked her hands behind her head and wondered what Cloud and Tifa were doing.

* * *

"Her room is cleaned out and Jezebel is gone," Tifa groaned. She flopped down on Cloud's bed. She'd received a message from Tseng earlier, stating that Yuffie had been returned to the bar. Tifa had met Cloud outside of the city last night to fill him in. Together, they rode back into Edge.

Upon their arrival at the bar, they found it empty. Yuffie was no where to be found. Cloud patted Tifa's back awkwardly. Of course he was worried about the peppy ninja as well. She was like a little sister to him. But he had also fought beside her, and he knew that she was capable of taking care of herself. The knot hadn't yet been tied that could hold her down. For all her boasting and general clumsiness, she truly was a great ninja. She was also the keeper of Leviathan, a very powerful summon.

Cloud sat up quickly and crossed his room, opening the box that held his Materia. Scowling, he withdrew the small slip of paper and read it.

"Cloud, what is it?" Tifa asked, moving to stand next to him. He showed her the paper.

"'_Thanks for the Materia, Chocoboy! Gobble gobble!_'" she read aloud. She frowned. "Why would she take your Materia? And… gobble gobble?" Cloud pressed his lips together in a grim line.

"I have a feeling we should ask the Turks," he hissed. "Come on."

* * *

It didn't take them long to get them to where they were now - looming over Tseng.

"Where is she?" Cloud's voice was too calm, Tifa thought. Tseng should be concerned, if he were smart, though Tifa admired the Turk's ability to remain impassive.

"I assume you're speaking of Yuffie. Is she not at Seventh Heaven?"

"We wouldn't be here if she were," Tifa said hotly.

"True enough, I suppose. Have you tried the corn dog stand that she was raving about?" he asked mildly. His voice was smooth and all lies, and Tifa's patience was thin enough.

"You're a slimy piece of work, you know that?" Tifa snapped, clenching her fists. "Your people were the last ones with her. You're responsible for her." Tseng sighed.

"Let's assume for a moment that I know where she is. Were that the case, I would be inclined to tell you that she is safe and guarded at an undisclosed location for her protection." He stood and clasped his hands behind his back. "However, I do not have any further information on your friend. For your safety, I advise you to cease your search for her."

"Stop looking for her? Are you out of your mind? She's our friend!" Tifa fumed. "She'll be safe with us."

"Like she was safe when the Bones of Wutai took her from your bar two weeks ago?" Tseng countered, a hint of anger in his voice. Tifa bit her lip and Cloud smouldered beside her, wishing he had brought First Tsurugi with him. Tseng sighed. He took a sip of tea from a thermos on his desk, and it calmed him somewhat. "My apologies. That was… too far." He turned to stare out the window of his office.

"She is the princess of Wutai. I'm sure it's easy to forget. You eat, drink, and live with her. I am under the assumption that she doesn't act like a princess. But her ancestors were emperors and empresses, true rulers. She is next in line for the throne, and she was specifically targeted." Tseng turned to face them. "Her father wants her kept safe just as much as you do. He has the money to do so, and we have the resources. For her safety and for yours, it would be wise to stay uninformed."

Tifa opened her mouth to say something, but Cloud touched her arm. She spun to look at him. Imploring blue eyes found hers and he shook his head just slightly. She sighed and brought her other hand up and brushed her fingers over his. Then she rounded on Tseng.

"You had better hope that wherever she is, she stays safe," she warned, pointing a gloved finger at him. "Or I'm calling Vincent." She whirled around and stormed out of the room. Tseng looked at Cloud, his eyes just slightly wider than usual. With the barest hint of a smile, the ex-SOLDIER turned and left as well, clicking the door shut quietly.

Tseng sat back down at his desk and took another drink from his tea, a larger gulp this time. He hoped that Elena and Reno did their jobs. Vincent Valentine was probably the last person on the planet he wanted breathing down his neck. He was an ex-Turk, and he was old school. Tseng suppressed a shudder. He didn't want to think about what Valentine could come up with if any harm befell the ninja.

* * *

_Reviews are like Dr. Pepper, Iron Man, and chicken-cheese quesadillas to my dark little soul._

_As always,_

_Peace, love, and chai~_


	3. The First of ManyNot the Last

"Let's watch a movie!" Yuffie squealed. She flipped over the back of the couch, rolling onto her side. Jezebel leapt up, resting atop the back cushions and stretched out. Yuffie mimicked her, though the ninja made it look so natural that one might think the cat had copied her.

"What do you want to watch, legs?" Reno asked, popping the top off a bottle of beer and flopping down to the left of her.

"What did you just call me?" Yuffie asked slowly. Reno shrugged and raked his eyes up her body.

"You got nice legs," he pointed out nonchalantly.

"Watch yourself, Reno. I have to keep her safe; Tseng didn't say anything about your health," Elena warned. She came out of her bedroom in casual lounge clothes. She took a seat next to Yuffie, tucking her feet under her. Reno surveyed her as well, ignoring Yuffie as she made a face at him. He clucked his tongue in mock disappointment.

"That's not very professional work-wear, Laney," he chastised. Elena stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're in a secure safe house. I've activated the motion detectors and the cameras. Readily accessible firearms are in each room." She listed the precautions that had been taken, ticking them off on the fingers of her well manicured hand. "All that aside, this is hardly a job that requires a suit to be worn at every moment. We're well hidden and armed to the teeth."

"And you've got the greatest ninja princess in the world here, with her ultra sharp ninja princess senses. And Jezebel," Yuffie added, tickling her cat's paw. She stretched and nudged Reno's leg with her foot. "Relax, old man. Your precious, b-e-a-utiful charge is safe, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk." Reno stared at them listlessly.

"You women have no concept of sarcasm, do you?" he wondered. Elena hurled a pillow at him.

"Of course we do. Except that it wouldn't be outside of your Shithead Scale to blow it out of proportion just to try and get me in trouble," she accused. Yuffie cackled.

"This is going to be like the co-ed sleepover that Vinnie and the others never agreed to," she cheered. She twisted to her feet and planted her fists on her hips. "All right, my turkey roommates. What kinda movie are we gonna watch? Let it not be said that your princess is ungracious!" she declared, holding her head high. "We'll vote, majority rules!" She pointed to Reno. "Ginger slave, what say you?"

"He says he's not a slave, and that he wants to see a bad horror movie," he said.

"The lovely lady?" Yuffie questioned, turning to Elena. They both ignored Reno's whining that he was lovely, too.

"A mystery film!" she said.

"And what about you, midget?" Reno asked. Yuffie puckered her lips in thought for a moment, then tossed Elena an apologetic look.

"Sorry, 'Lena, but I'm a sucker for bad horror movies." She searched through the DVD cabinets, her tongue caught between her teeth in concentration. She finally picked one out and spun around, showing it to them. "How about 'The Gingerdead Man'?"

Elena's eyebrow quirked up, but she shrugged. Opposite her, Reno's face lit up and he fidgeted like a kid waiting for a new toy. Yuffie did a little happy dance as she spun back around and pressed every button she could see until she got everything working. She skipped back to the couch and flipped the remote into Reno's lap.

"Full speed ahead!" she whooped.

Throughout the movie, Elena found herself fighting not to groan at the absurdity of it. Reno and Yuffie, on the other hand, were howling with laughter through the whole thing. Every time someone was shoved into an oven, Yuffie would shout, "Who's hungry?" and Reno would throw his hand in the air, waving excessively. Despite their manic cackling, Elena managed to fall asleep. Loathe to wake her up after the movie, but not quite ready for sleep themselves, Reno and Yuffie crept into the kitchen. Reno helped himself to another beer, and Yuffie made herself some hot chocolate, piling extra tiny marshmallows on top.

"How long d'ya think you have to be my prison warden for?" she asked, her chilled fingers wrapping gratefully around the warm mug. She knew winter was quickly approaching, but she didn't realize how cold it would be underground.

"Dunno, princcess," he drawled, shrugging. Could be till tomorrow, could be a coupl'a months." He pointed at her with the neck of his beer bottle. "But now that you're safe, Godo and Shinra can really deliver the whoop-ass. It shouldn't be long before we start cracking some Bones," he said. He grinned, but his eyes held a dark glimmer that had Yuffie suppressing a shiver.

"Man, just when we're starting to clean up your mess, this load of chocopoop falls on us," she grumbled. A moment passed and when Reno remained silent, she looked up at him. The normally cheerful redhead had adopted a sullen mask and was staring at his beer bottle as if it held all the answers he was looking for.

"We're tryin', yanno," he muttered. "It ain't easy. Everyone still generally hates Shinra and everyone who worked for him. It's hard to make forward progress when no'ne'll let us stand up." His voice was quiet; he picked at the soggy paper label on his beer bottle, his blue-green eyes guarded. His lips quirked up and a self-deprecating chuckle worked its way out of his throat. Yuffie's face fell and she felt guilty, an emotion she wasn't very accustomed to.

"I didn't mean… Oh, hell," she groaned.

"I figured… that's why I didn't complain much when Tseng sprung this job on me last night. I guess I saw-"

"If I didn't trust you at least a little, I wouldn't have come here willingly. And if you'd knocked me out, I'd have escaped by now," she said confidently. Reno looked up at her, the spark returning to his eyes. She was relieved that he didn't look like a kicked puppy anymore.

"Just don't let me get shanked by some skeevy gang and I'll put in a good word with the rest of the girl scouts," she said with a wink.

"Talk about Rude's glory and silent charm around Tifa and we'll call it even," the redhead said with a laugh. They made their way back into the living room; Elena had curled up into a tiny ball on the couch, her forehead crinkled in uneasy slumber, and little whimpering noises could be heard. Yuffie watched Reno's expression soften as he strode over to her, long legs bringing him beside the couch quickly. She let out a soft cry as he approached, but this didn't deter him. He bent down and rested gentle fingers on her bare arm.

"Hey, Laney," he whispered, his voice surprisingly gentle. He slipped an arm beneath her shoulders and another in the crook of her knees, picking her up as easily as if she were filled with air. He adjusted his grip on her, tilting her gently so that she rocked back against his chest. She curled into him, twisting his wrinkled white shirt between her fingers.

Reno carried her back to her bedroom, which was on the right of Yuffie's. He bumped open the door with his hip and walked in. The lamp on the nightstand was on its lowest setting, casting a dim, yellow warmth across the room. Yuffie slipped past him and drew the blankets back, and the redhead set Elena in bed gently, resting her head on the pillows. When he tried to pull away, her brow crinkled again and she clung to him tighter. Without so much as batting an eyelash, Reno climbed into bed with her, propping himself against the headboard and crossing his ankles. Yuffie sat down gingerly at the end of the bed, doing her ninja best to leave Elena undisturbed.

"Does she get like this often?" Yuffie asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Not s'much anymore. Those wannabe Sephiroth punks really did a number on her," he answered, frowning.

"At the Northern Crater," she murmured. Vincent had recounted his tale to her, after she had cornered him and dragged him onto the roof of Seventh Heaven.

"She took a beating, apparently. Dumb kid; every time they went near Tseng, she screamed till they turned to her." His long fingers absently played with the slumbering Turk's fine blond hair.

"She's got a crush on him, doesn't she?"

"Not for a while now," he replied. "I didn't believe her when she told me, but she's okay. She's even friendly with the chick he's into now. Some girl that runs a tea shop in Little Wutai."

"So then why take all his hits?" the ninja asked.

"Prob'ly the same reason I would. We're just grunts. Tseng's a tactical genius, a prodigy. We can be replaced a lot easier than he can." His tone was grim and he paused for a moment. Then he sighed and glanced down at Elena. "She's been doing a lot better, though. At first, she'd come in some days looking like choco-shit, 'n she never looks bad." His lips twitched up just slightly, and Yuffie found herself smiling a little, too. "Laney's too pretty to look bad. But she was showin' up in a bad way more and more often. Even Rufus started to notice. I've never seen him or Tseng more concerned for someone." His face split into a grin. "It was actually pretty funny watchin' those two - you'd swear sometimes they're brothers, except for, yanno, Tseng's from Wutai and Rufus is a skinny white boy. But they had the same look on their faces one day when they were lookin' at her.

"Then she came in one day a coupl'a months ago and it was like… I dunno, like all that bad shit was erased. When I asked her about it, she jus' turned red and told me she'd done 'soul-searching' or some yoga bullshit like that." Yuffie brightened.

"Think it's a guy?" she asked eagerly.

"Gotta be, don't it? But she's keepin' those pretty lips of hers shut up tighter than the vampire's coffin. And that ain't cool, yo," he added unhappily.

"Girls are allowed to keep secrets," Yuffie huffed.

"Not when you're a Turk. We gotta make sure this jerk knows what'll happen if she comes back in a mess again," he said, his voice low and protective. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Did you threaten Tseng's new girlfriend like that?" she countered. Reno didn't answer immediately. He gently pried Elena's fingers from his shirt, relief flickering on his face when she remained silent and peaceful. He eased himself off of her bed, then turned to grin at Yuffie.

"Hell no. They'd have never found our bodies if we did that to her," he admitted. He reached over and tapped the flat black disc next to the lamp until the light was extinguished. Yuffie clucked her tongue at him and 'mhm'd' as they made their way out of Elena's bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind them.

"Yanno, turkey, for all your nacho-macho, drunk, tough-guy hitman crap, you're actually a big ol' softie," the ninja teased.

"Shaddup," he muttered, completely without conviction. "She's family, yo." Much softer, much more fond. Yuffie cast a sidelong glance at the supposedly cold blooded, emotionless Turk. In that moment, he didn't seem capable of pushing the button that brought down the plate on the Sector Seven slums, or any of the other atrocities he'd been connected to. She thought that maybe people were wrong about him, about the Turks.

"If you've got night terrors too, you can come sleep with me, princess," he drawled salaciously, leering down at her as they stood outside her door. Yuffie made a face.

"I sleep like a baby angel, old man," she informed him. He didnt move away, staring at her with intent, narrow eyes. And then he straightened with a shrug.

"Sure, sure. Oh. Wanted to show ya something," he added calmly. He brushed past her and flipped on the lights in her room. He walked over to the side of the bed without a nightstand and stopped, turning back to her with an expectant look on his face.

"I'm good here," she called, flapping a hand at him. Reno rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to guard your chastity belt, jailbait. It's nothin' like that," he huffed. Yuffie pouted and crossed her arms.

"I'm not jailbait!" she protested waspishly. "I'm twenty-one."

"Yeah, well, you look like a twelve year old boy, and that don't ring my bell. Just get in here," he complained, looking down at he wall. A very sharp, small shuriken whizzed past his cheek and sunk into the wall. His eyes widened and he spun just as Yuffie threw another.

"Where were you keeping those?" he wondered, diving out of the way and avoiding a third and fourth shuriken.

"Boy scout secret!" she seethed. With a yelp, Reno scuttled along the wall adjacent to Elena's room, avoiding the seeming endless supply of sharp things that Yuffie kept on her person. "Get out! It's past this," she threw another shuriken, "little boy's," and another, "bedtime!" One last shuriken embedded itself in the doorframe and then the Turk was gone. Still fuming, Yuffie whistled once, and Jezebel padded into the room a few seconds later. Then she slammed the door shut, belatedly hoping that it wouldn't wake Elena.

She let out a small scream and stomped her foot. '_Stupid, obnoxious, stupid, stupid, stupid turkey!'_ she thought angrily to herself. '_And stupid me, thinking he wasn't a complete douchecanoe._' With a frustrated sigh, she set about changing into her sleepwear, which consisted of her underwear and a tank top decorated with an image of a pile of Materia. Her previous scowl softened and her fury ebbed as she withdrew a photo in a matte black frame from her bag.

It was a photo of all of her friends in front of the newly rebuilt Seventh Heaven. She was perched on Vinnie's shoulders; the gunman's face was perpetually impassive, but he had his gloved hand resting on her shin. She was leaning over Cid, dangling his lit cigarette just out of his reach, grinning from ear to ear, her eyes squeezed shut in glee. The pilot's mouth was captured mid-curse and he was pointing a finger at her accusingly. Tifa was staring, a hand clapped over her mouth, half in horror and half in amusement, at Denzel, who had leaned in and kissed Marlene's cheek. The girl's face was scrunched up in a timeless giggle, her cheeks as pink as her bow. Reeve had taken note of the boy's actions and had quickly pulled out his PHS, showing something of zero importance to Barret. Nanaki was staring mournfully at his tail, which was trapped under Barret's foot. And Cloud was in the middle of it all, the only one looking at the camera. A small, serene smile was forever on his face, as if Aeris or Zack were the one taking the photo, not a timer.

It was her favourite photo of all time. Being an intelligent ninja (Cid corrected her, calling her paranoid), she had stashed copies of it all over the world. Yanno, just in case, and she took a copy of it with her wherever she went. She set the photograph on her nightstand, crawled into bed, and wished more than anything that they were here with her.

* * *

Yuffie woke unusually early the next morning. She wasn't a morning person by any means, but consciousness was preferable over the nightmares she kept having. She wiggled into a pair of lounge shorts and slid her feet into her hard-soled slippers. She shuffled out of her bedroom and into the hall. From what she could see, the living room and kitchen were both dark. She peered down toward Elena's room. Her door was open and further down the hall, light came from another door. She padded quietly down the hallway and peered through the glass door.

Elena was wailing away on a punching bag in what appeared to be a workout or training room. She wore a blank tank top and black yoga pants, and her hands were wrapped in white bandage tape for support and protection. She was light on her feet and she danced around, landing punches with great speed. A thin layer of sweat covered her face.

Yuffie pushed the door open and let it shut normally, alerting Elena to her presence. The blond Turk stopped mid-swing and looked up. She flipped her hair out of her eyes and smiled brightly at Yuffie.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked. The ninja shrugged.

"I've had better nights," she confessed. "Letting off some steam?" Elena looked almost sheepish.

"I guess I've had better nights, too." She shrugged, giving the weighted bag a half-hearted punch. "And I've got to do something to keep in shape. Who knows how long we'll be here." Yuffie lit up, all sleepiness vanishing.

"Hey, let's spar! We can stay in shape and I can brush up on my hand to hand combat!" she said excitedly.

"Sounds like a solid plan," Elena agreed, smiling. Yuffie danced in place.

"Rock on! Lemme go change!" She dashed out of the training room and into hers. She flipped through one of her duffel bags, tossing clothes everywhere until she dug out her black sports bra. Shucking out of her tank top, she slipped the sports bra on and changed into a pair of clingy black shorts. She pulled on her tall beige boots and laced them up. Springing lightly to her feet, she checked herself out in the floor to ceiling mirror.

She certainly wasn't stacked like Tifa, but she wasn't a twelve year old boy, either. Well, maybe in the sports bra she looked a little smaller than she actually was. But she had curves! Ish. So she wasn't curvy, either, like Elena or Aeris had been. She wasn't a plank, though. Frowning to herself, she made an attempt to flatten her hair, which was short as ever. Even Vinnie had nicer hair than she did!

"Who am I kidding?" she huffed, mussing her hair vigorously. "Nyeh!" Like she gave a chocobo's ass what some old man thought about her. Even if he was too attractive for his own good.

Yuffie squeaked and clapped her hands over her mouth. She gave herself a little slap and danced away from the mirror. '_Uh-uh. You are _too_ sexy for him! You're the greatest ninja princess that ever was or will be and he's just a crusty old man._' Her inner Yuffie made sense and she nodded.

"I am fabulous," she grinned. "I'm a petite, flawless ninja. And I'm not fat." She turned to Jezebel, who was sitting behind her, and planted a kiss between her ears. "It's good to be me! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"

* * *

Elena struck out with her leg, kicking Yuffie's out from under her. The ninja recovered by falling back on her hands and somersaulting out of reach. The Turk quickly made up the distance, delivering a series of rapid blows. Yuffie brought her arms up and was able to deflect most of the blows. One landed on her abdomen and she curled at the impact, then tucked and rolled to the side. She twisted to her feet, fluid and graceful, and aimed a punch, led with her knuckles, at a pressure point on Elena's arms.

The blond spun with a speed that surprised the Wutaian girl and blocked the punch in mid-air. With a twist of her wrist, Yuffie caught Elena and deftly stepped behind her, pulling her arm behind her back. The Turk crouched down, intending on flipping Yuffie over her head. The ninja released her arm and pulled on her shoulders, forcing her down just enough for her to vault over Elena's head. She twisted in the air and used all of her upper body strength, and a little help from gravity, to bush the blond to the ground, straddling her and pinning her wrists above her head.

Both women were breathing heavily and were covered in a glaze up sweat. Elena grinned up at Yuffie.

"This is how every man in the world should wake up, yo."

Their gazes snapped toward the door. Reno was inside the training room, leaning against the wall. He wore black lounge pants with two white lines down the sides and a black tee with some faded, indiscernible bar logo on it. His feet were stuffed into the most ridiculous pair of chocobo slippers that Yuffie had ever seen. He was smirking at them impishly.

"Okay, Yuffie. Lean down and kiss Laney's jaw and put your hand on her waist," he instructed, waving a finger at her. Yuffie rolled her eyes and sat up, offering Elena a hand up.

"I can work with this. Lace your fingers with hers and push her against the wall," he coached.

"There's porn for your condition, old man," Yuffie informed him. "All you need is a valid credit card and a good virus scan."

"He's too busy mourning the lack of other females in the office to try to work around the firewalls and download porn," Elena said. "Well done, Yuff. You been training with Tifa?" The ninja puffed up with pride and nodded.

"When things with the Bones started getting rough, Tifa thought it would be good for me. She brought the idea up one day and Cloud wouldn't shut up until I agreed."

"Smart. Laney's no pushover, either," Reno conceded. Elena shot him a pleased smile, a flush spreading across her cheeks. "You might've got the drop on her, but you're still no match for me." Yuffie frowned at him, crossing her arms and cocking her hips to the side.

"Why wouldja wanna fight a little boy anyway, ya spindly weed?" She turned to Elena and bowed, out of habit, and then marched out of the training room.

She wasn't really upset anymore. She snorted. She was the best thief princess out there; she had washboard abs and awesome Materia. And her own country. But it was nice to let the redhead sweat a bit. The sound of Elena punching him, followed by his indignant cry of pain, was also pretty satisfying.

Once she was in her room, she peeled off her sweaty clothes and stepped into her bathroom. She started the water and straightened, waiting for it to heat up. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed.

The scars that danced across her body were easy to ignore when she was dressed. When she was naked… she was naked in every sense of the word, bare and exposed. There was one from when Sephiroth's sword clipped her. Another, more jagged one from a Tonberry. Four long, thin ones going down her arm from the time she'd slipped from Vincent's grip. And probably over a dozen less memorable ones.

Yuffie was not prone to insecurities, was not predisposed to being self-conscious. But she hated these scars and did her best to make sure that she was in dim lighting if anyone were looking. She made sure that every encounter with a partner, or every game of strip poker, was executed in poor lighting.

Sighing to herself, she stepped into the shower, making happy little noises to herself as the almost unbearably hot water spilled over her. She sang into a bottle of shampoo, dancing as she lathered her hair with her free hand.

"_Murphy, Murphy, darling dear. I long for you now night and day. Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy; I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer,_" she crooned. She broke out into the rest of the song, head banging and executing dance moves that would have made Michael Jackson proud.

By the time she had finished her song, her hair and body were clean. She flipped the water off and stepped out onto the memory foam mat. She toweled off, rubbing her hair dry and probably knotting it in the process. She dressed in a dark green sweatshirt and a pair of black sweatpants she'd absconded from Cloud. Sliding her feet back into her slippers, she removed Jezebel's food bowls and kibble from a bag. Tucking them under her arm, she left her room and wandered into the kitchen.

Reno was there, standing in front of a griddle on the counter, flipping pancakes and poking sausage links around.

"I thought my 'impending fiery death' senses were tingling," Yuffie remarked, setting Jezebel's bowls on the floor and pouring kibble into one of them.

"I happen to be an excellent chef, yo," he protested, without heart. Yuffie leaned against the counter, prodding the box of pancake mix.

"Adding water and flipping pancakes doesn't exactly qualify you for a five star restaurant gig," she quipped.

"I _can_ cook, yanno," he muttered. He flipped a perfectly golden pancake onto a plate. He cast his blue-green eyes at her, flicking them over her body. "Aw, where'd those nice legs go, princess?"

"It's usually frowned upon to gawk at a twelve year old boy's legs," she groused. "Or maybe where you come from it's-"

"I shouldn't'a said that," Reno mumbled. Yuffie narrowed her eyes.

"What?" He sighed.

"It was insensitive," he said, the word thick on his tongue. "You're not the little punk you were when I first met'cha an'… not everyone's got a rack like the Honey Bee girls." Yuffie snorted.

"That was so rehearsed. If you're gonna apologize, don't quote Elena word for word, ya turkey," she complained, though her voice lacked venom. Reno waved his spatula in the air.

"Well, according to her, I'm not loquacious," he simpered, "enough to not offend you again." He rolled his eyes. "I got words. They just ain't as pretty as Laney's." He cast her another sidelong glance. "Forgive me, princess?"

"Only because I don't feel like fighting my naturally sweet and compassionate personality," she mused, punching him in the arm.

"Your generosity has earned you an extra pancake, my lady," he said, sliding a plate toward her. Yuffie went to the refrigerator and pulled out the butter, then searched through the cupboards until she found the syrup. She was pulling out silverware when Elena came in, followed by Jezebel. The cat went immediately to her food bowl and the female Turk sat down, pushing her damn hair out of her eyes.

"Ooh, Reno's famous pancakes?" she asked hopefully.

"Naw, just the boxed stuff," he said. "I was thinking about sneaking into Junon for some pumpkin, though." She brightened.

"Oh goody," she said. "Reno makes the best pumpkin pie in the world," she told Yuffie.

"Yes, feed my ego," Reno hissed comically. Yuffie groaned.

"He'll be intolerable for the rest of the day."

"I was tolerable before? I'm touched, midge," he sniffed. He carried a dessert plate full of sausage to the island, flicking pieces onto Yuffie's and Elena's plates. The three of them tucked into their breakfast in silence. Jezebel, apparently finished with her food, leapt lightly onto the stool beside Yuffie; the ninja speared a piece of pancake and offered it to the giant cat, who nibbled it daintily.

"You got a nice voice, yanno. You should join us for karaoke night sometime," Reno said conversationally around a mouthful of pancakes. Only too late did he realize his mistake. Yuffie's brown eyes widened and she puckered her lips in fury.

"You were _in my room_ while I was showering?" she demanded, doing her best to keep from screaming. Reno held up his hands defensively.

"Nonono," he said quickly. "It's not like that-"

"He wasn't in your room," Elena intervened smoothly. She offered Yuffie a reassuring smile. "We could hear you from the hallway. He's right, though. You have a lovely voice. I could use you on my team on karaoke night. Rude never sings." Elena's words had their intended effect. Yuffie calmed down, and when she looked down at her plate (suddenly shy about having been caught singing), Reno shot her a grateful look.

"It's only something I do in the shower," Yuffie mumbled. "I'm not all that good."

"I ain't good at all, yo," Reno grinned. "Tseng makes up for it, though, once he's good 'n' hammered." The Wutaian ninja fed another piece of pancake to Jezebel.

"Seems like Tseng is good at just about everything. Is there anything he totally blows at?" she wondered.

"His coffee tastes like water, and he can't articulate anything to anyone he's got the hots for," he snickered.

"It took him forever to sack up and ask Aya out," Elena laughed.

"Are all Turks bad at asking people out?" Yuffie asked, her thoughts turning, unbidden, to Vincent.

"Oh, no. Reno tried to sleep with me the day he met me," Elena said lightly.

"The offer still stands, Laney," Reno pointed out.

"I'm quite happy with my current state of affairs," she demurred, sipping her orange juice delicately.

"Yeah, about that state," he grumbled, eyeing her shrewdly. The blond winked at him.

"That's for me to know and you to wait until I tell you," she sang sweetly, leaning over and kissing his cheek. He grumped to himself, but didn't press her for information.

"Whaddya wanna do today?" Yuffie asked before silence could set in again.

"Well, there's books to read, board games, movies. There's a pool behind the training room, too," Elena listed. Yuffie's face fell. "I know, it's not the most exciting place to be…" She worried her lip between her teeth.

"I guess I'd still rather be here than fighting Sephiroth. Again," Yuffie said, trying to sound positive.

"There ya go, glass half full, midge!" Reno beamed.

* * *

_This is what I've got pre-written, so future chapters won't be uploaded as quickly. The FFWiki describes Reno as being "friendly", so that's what I'm aiming for. He's friendly and he's unfailingly loyal to his colleagues. I imagine the Turks to be very close to one another. Aya is a little character I whipped up for Tseng. Elena has a mystery suitor and it's driving everyone guano. The song Yuffie was singing is _The Dirty Glass _by Dropkick Murphys. Irish music is my love, so don't be surprised if you see references. If you see things that might be references to other fandoms, they probably are. Dr. Who was in the last chapter ;D _

_Reviews are swedish fish to me!_

_Peace, love, and chai~_


	4. Double Take

Yuffie spent the next few hours unpacking her belongings. By the time she'd put her few books on the shelves, her clothes in drawers, and some weapons on the dresser, she felt a little less like a prisoner.

She searched the kitchen and living room for Elena or Reno, but only found Jezebel stretched out on the couch. She peered into Reno's room, but it was dark and empty. She moved down the hall and knocked on Elena's doorframe. The Turk looked up from her dresser, where she was putting away some clothes. She waved Yuffie in.

"Where's Reno?" the ninja asked.

"He went into Junon to get the pumpkin, and probably cigarettes and booze," she added, crinkling her nose slightly. She looked at Yuffie and her gaze softened. "He did apologize to you, right?"

"Yeah," she answered with a nod.

"I hope he didn't upset you too much," the blond consoled. "He's got no filter to speak of, and he lives by stereotypes. I'm not making excuses for him, but that's just Reno." Yuffie sighed, flapping a hand dismissively.

"It's all right. I know I'm not pretty or curvy or chesty like Tifa. I'm a kick ass ninja, though!" she told the other woman with a wink. Elena smiled.

"You are!" she agreed. "But… just because you're built differently, why would you think you're not pretty?" There was genuine care in her voice, and Yuffie felt that certain tug of closeness to her again.

"Oh, I know I'm awesome looking," she amended. "I'm just not… I dunno, double-take Tifa." Elena shook her head, a smile on her face. Then she brightened and dug around in one of the drawers of her nightstand. She produced a small canvas bag and held it up.

"Let me prove you wrong." She unzipped the plain beige bag and Yuffie peered inside.

"Makeup?"

"Just a little. Some eyeliner and mascara, and just a pinch of something on your lips," the blond said thoughtfully, studying Yuffie's face carefully. The Wutaian girl made a face.

"I'm no good at girly stuff," she said. She recalled all the times Tifa had tried to take her shopping or paint her toenails, only to have them go horribly awry.

"I'm not either, but you can't tell I'm wearing any," Elena giggled. Yuffie cocked her head to the side and leaned in close. Her eyelashes were black, not blond, and brown eyeliner was lightly dusted across her lower lids.

"I never noticed it before! But… you're so pretty. Why do you wear it?" the ninja asked.

"I started wearing it when I found out I was the only female on the team. It was a vanity thing." She shrugged. "And then I just got comfortable with it. I liked the way I felt in it. That's why I wear it now, even though I'm no longer intimidated by being the only girl. Wearing makeup makes _me_ good, and that's the only reason any woman should wear it." Yuffie had been somewhat doubtful, but she trusted Elena's judgment and reasoning.

"What the hell. Go for it!" Elena fidgeted happily and began to dig through the small canvas bag. Eyeliner was applied first, a dark, smoky charcoal. Yuffie giggled through the entire application, scrunching her face and forcing Elena to hold her eyes wide open. Black mascara followed; as the blond applied it, her face split into a wide smile. Then she pulled out a stick of lip colour. It was a peachy-pink, and she pressed it against Yuffie's lips in little dots, then smudged it with her little finger.

"Done!" Elena announced with a smile.

"Really? That's all?" Yuffie asked, incredulous. She nodded.

"Mhm, take a look." She gestured to the mirror. The ninja hopped lightly off the bed and bounded over to the mirror. Her eyes widened. She looked the same, only… not. The charcoal colour of the eyeliner brought out the warm brown in her eyes, made them seem lighter and brighter. And her eyelashes - she had to lean in close to the mirror to be sure that they were hers. They were long and thick like those women in the Rimmel London commercials. The colour on her lips was just barely discernible, but she found she rather liked the colour. She knew how little she was wearing, but she felt like a whole new person. She felt like she deserved a double take. She twirled around, smiling brightly.

"See what I mean? You are double take worthy, Yuff. You just never saw it," Elena assured her. The ninja looked at herself in the mirror again. '_Washboard abs, kick ass Materia, my own country, AND double take good looks. I am unstoppable,_' she thought to herself.

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, eat your heart out, Vince," she muttered. Elena cleared off her bed, stuffing the makeup bag back into a drawer.

"Things rocky between you and Valentine?" she asked. Yuffie bit her lip and sat back down on the bed.

"Things were never… stable. We tried kind of a half-ass little… you can't even call it a relationship. I mean, it sort of was, but…" she stumbled over her words. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about it. In fact, it would be easier to talk about it with Elena than it would be with Tifa. Elena wasn't friends with Vincent, and wouldn't feel like she had to defend him if Yuffie got cranky. She just didn't know how to describe what it was that she and Vincent had. Seeing her distress, Elena flipped her legs around and stood up.

"C'mon, let's have a drink and some corn dogs," she said. Yuffie smiled gratefully and stood.

"You're a mind reader."

* * *

"I mean, I'm not repulsive. I even stopped stealing and started using the front door, all for him. It was just never enough, I guess," Yuffie mumbled. She had begun full of conviction and Vincent fueled fury, but it petered out quickly. She took a bite out of her corn dog. "I just couldn't be Lucrecia." She scoffed. "I wouldn't have left him for Hojo - I'm not into deranged scientists."

"So… did you leave him?" Elena asked.

"We were only half together anyway. It was kinda one-sided. He just… tolerated me. We're friends, and he cares for me that way, and he probably wants to kill the Bones just as much as Tif and Cid and Cloud do, but that's where it ends for him." She hoped that explanation made some sort of sense.

"Where does that leave you?" Elena questioned delicately.

"After a drunken hookup, made a list of options. A, wallow in misery and try to win Vinnie over for good; Two, have another drunken hookup; And D, wait for Prince Charming," Yuffie answered.

"Door number one sounds like the worst idea in the world." Elena took a bite of her corn dog. "Valentine isn't the only man in the world. You're the hot ninja princess who saved the world - twice! And now you don't even have to marry some stuffy old lord and have stuffy old lord babies," she said cheerfully.

"Ooh, you're right!" Yuffie gave her a lopsided grin. "I wish I'd had drinks with you and the others more often."

"It's entertaining, all right," Elena mused. She sipped at her rum and cola. "You'd fit in well." Yuffie grinned and bit into another corn dog.

"So, enough about my sad life between the sheets. What about yours? Reno thinks you're seeing someone." Elena flushed prettily.

"Well, I… I kind of am. I mean, I am seeing someone, but I-"

"You don't have to say who it is. I know it won't help, but I told Reno to cool it," Yuffie interrupted. The petite blond looked relieved, and she took another drink. "But what's he like?" she asked, squirming anxiously in her seat. Elena smiled; there was a fondness in her expression. Her eyes softened and she ran her thumb gently over the glass.

"He's smart - so very intelligent. He's dedicated to his work, but when he's with me, in the evenings…" she laughed quietly. "That is, when we have the time. We're both so busy all the time. But when we have the time, he's… gentle and sweet, almost. Quiet evenings together aren't common for us, but they're worth it," she murmured, somewhat dreamily. Yuffie sighed, her chin in her palm.

"He sounds like a real catch," she said wistfully. "How long have you been seeing him?"

"Almost three months now. I think we're past the awkward phase now. I stay at his flat more often than not, when I'm not on missions. He's an excellent cook and," she blushed, smiling shyly, "the best lover I've ever had. He comes off as a hard-ass at work. I've heard the guys he's in charge of complain about him sometimes. When it's just the two of us, though, he's almost… tender. I think he's had issues in the past with letting himself feel things, but he's getting better." Yuffie had a wide, wistful smile on her face. Elena caught her expression and smiled back. Before it could reach her ears, however, her face fell and her eyes widened.

"Oh, Gaia, listen to me, gushing like this after you've just told me about Vincent! I'm so sorry!" she blurted. Yuffie waved it off.

"P'shaw, don't worry. Gotta get over him somehow, right?" she dismissed. "_You_ sound like you've got a keeper on your hands, 'Lena!"

"I think you're right," Elena agreed, relaxing again.

"How d'ya think he's holding up? I mean, with you being totally cut off for who knows how long," Yuffie asked.

"He understands. He encouraged me to do this, said it was important. He told me he'd be waiting for me when all this is over. His history says he won't be, but I think.. I think he's changed from the man he used to be." Elena nodded, as if reaffirming herself. "Yeah, I think he'll be there." Yuffie sighed dreamily again.

"So when are you gonna tell your friends and stuff?" she asked. Elena shrugged.

"Things are a little hairy at work for him right now; I think.. I think the current silence is better for the time being. Maybe when things settle down we'll make ourselves known, but that might not be for a while." She shrugged again. "I don't mind. If it makes him comfortable, then I'm game." She tossed back the rest of her drink, then poured another. "Plus, it's funny watching Reno try to guess who it is." Yuffie giggled.

"Has he ever guessed right?"

"He doesn't have a clue!" The two shared a laugh, but were interrupted by Reno's arrival.

"Who don't have a clue?" he asked without looking at them, setting a pair of bags down on the counter.

"Oh, yanno, just uh, Cloud has no idea that, uh, Rude likes Tifa," Yuffie covered lamely. Elena stifled a giggle behind her hand.

"How does he not notice? Rude's a regular there, sittin' in his corner and makin' eyes at her from behind those shades of his," he said, unloading a few liquor bottles from one of the bags. "Unless she's still too wrapped around Cloud's oblivious ass."

"He's just not into her like that, I guess," Yuffie said. "Him and Cid and Barret and Reeve got drunk one night an' he kept talkin' about him and Zack, and he'd get this dopey, squishy, lovebird look on his face." Reno chuckled.

"So they _did_ have a thing. Zack, you naughty, naughty boy," he mused. He unloaded a few baking ingredients, including canned pumpkin. He left everything on the counter and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"You're gonna fill this whole place up with smoke," Yuffie complained. Still not turning around, he reached over and flipped a switch on the wall. There was a gentle rumble and then near silence.

"Shinra senior smoked like a chimney; he had a fancy ventilation system put in; I can continue to kill myself down here," he said happily. He turned around and shifted his eyes over them, and then to look at Yuffie again, his eyes slightly wide. The ninja wasn't paying attention, too preoccupied with pouring herself another drink. Elena, however, saw his second look, watched his hand loosen on the unlit cigarette he held. She smiled inwardly. '_There's her double take, and she's missing it._' Reno quickly fumbled for his lighter and once he was successful in lighting his cigarette, he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Elena observed, resting her chin in her hands. He nodded, his eyes still closed.

"Over a day. Never doin' that again," he murmured, his voice husky with smoke. He cracked one eye open and looked at them. "Sausage marinara okay for dinner?" Elena smiled.

"Oh yay, I was hoping you'd take over cooking," she said, somewhat smug. He waved a hand at her.

"Yeah, I hear ya. You'll be thanking me when you're dyin' over pumpkin pie later." He looked at Yuffie. "No more corn dogs, midge," he scolded as she reached for another one. "You won't have any room for my delicious sausage." He winked at her. Yuffie raised an eyebrow at him, her deadpan expression clearly telling him that she was ignoring the innuendo.

"I gotta pee," she announced, shoving away from the island and wandering back to her room. Elena dragged her gaze over to Reno once the ninja was out of earshot. She grinned knowingly at him.

"What?" He took another pull of his cigarette, turning around to busy himself with dinner preparations. Her smile widened and she moved, silent and stealthy, to stand behind him, elevated on her toes to leer over his shoulder. Her chest bumped into his back and he rocked forward, grunting. The smile never left her face. "You're such a creep, Laney," he muttered, the smoking stick held loosely between his lips, muffling his speech.

"She's pretty, isn't she?" Elena murmured.

"Who, princess?" he asked. He felt Elena nod against his shoulder and he shrugged. "She ain't an eyesore." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Uh-_huh_," she said, an observant inflection in the last part of the word. She slipped away from him easily and grabbed her drink off the table.

"You didn't cut her hair or anything, didja?" Reno asked mildly, his tone carefully disinterested. Elena smirked, grateful he couldn't see her.

"Of course not," she said smoothly. "She hasn't changed a thing." Reno grunted, smoke billowing out from between his lips. Smirk still in place, Elena slunk out of the kitchen.

* * *

"See, I toldja my cooking was perfect," Reno crowed as they sat down to eat. Yuffie had to admit, it _was_ delicious. Fat sausages covered in marinara sauce, on top of penne pasta. It was damn good, and the stabbity noodles were her favourite.

"Uh-huh, sure. Cook for me when I'm totally sober and we'll talk about that ego'a yours," Yuffie said around a mouthful of noodles. She and Elena had been happily drinking down the bottle of rum all afternoon, and she was pleasantly buzzed. So really, anything could have been tasty to her at that point. Well, probably not Cid's bacon and eggs, but just about anything else was fair game.

"Challenge accepted. Tomorrow morning, you're gonna eat the best pumpkin spice pancakes you've ever had," he declared. Yuffie smirked. Getting him to cook for her was easier than she thought it would be. Elena had been right, all those weeks ago at the bar. Appealing to a man's ego and sense of pride was the easiest way to get what one wanted.

"Did you get anything else while you were out?" Elena asked him. He raised his eyebrows as if remembering something, then dug around in his pocket. He set a small black PHS on the table and slid it to Elena.

"Secure, direct line to Rude, Tseng, or Rufus," he said. "Calls are completely untraceable and are outgoing only. We know their numbers by heart, so this phone deletes all data when the call's complete." His tone was completely professional.

"You get this from the drop spot?" she asked, flipping the phone open, glancing at the blank, blue screen before snapping it shut again. Reno stuffed a piece of sausage into his mouth and nodded.

"Rude n'me stuffed 'em there when we brought the paintings and corn dogs," he replied, all professionalism gone once more. "The guys are supposed to keep the other phones on their persons, charged and on, at all times, but you know Rufus; he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached." He wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. "I called Tseng, got a news update on the Bones." He looked at Yuffie, who straightened and focused her eyes on him.

"Are my friends okay?" There was a fierce sort of determination in her eyes, as if she were silently commanding her friends to be safe through sheer force of will.

"They're fine. An attempt was made on your father's life last night. Apparently, they found out you were missin' and got pissed," Reno told her. He paused, waiting for some sort of reaction from her. "Ain't'cha wondering if he survived?"

"You said attempt," she pointed out. Reno allowed a little, pleased smirk to dash across his face. "Besides, my old man won't go down so easily. Great ninjas don't come from crappy ones."

"You're right on the first bit, at least." ("Hey!" she cried indignantly.) He forked more noodles into his mouth. "His guards took down the assassin easily. He was a clumsy little dipshit, from what Boss says. They're not havin' any luck gettin' anything out of him, but Tseng's on his way to Wutai now," he murmured darkly. That shadowy coruscation was back in his blue-green eyes, and Yuffie shivered slightly.

"Poor guy," Elena whistled. Yuffie smirked. 'Poor guy' didn't even begin to cover what he was. During the war with Wutai, she had heard stories of Tseng; a man that turned on his own people was now Shinra's best interrogator. Men were screaming for death within an hour. He worked alone, so no one ever really knew what went on in the dim interrogation room. Of course, no one ever lived to talk about it, and Tseng was a lockbox.

"Your daddy's safe, but I figured I'd let'cha know what's goin' on topside. Tseng should have some answers for us soon," Reno chuckled. Yuffie poked her sausage around on her plate.

"Any chance of this flunky knowing everything and Vinnie putting a bullet between the big man's eyes?" she grumbled. Reno waved a hand.

"Yeah, I'm sure your boyfriend is just dyin' for revenge," he said loftily.

"He's not my boyfriend!" the ninja huffed. Reno sipped at his drink, raising his eyebrows lazily, mock surprise on his face.

"Oh _really_," he drawled. "Then why's it always-"

"Reno," Elena warned. His gaze flicked over to his colleague, then back to Yuffie, who sat rigid in her seat, her eyes cold and empty as she stared at her food. Reno scratched the back of his neck.

"Ah- yanno, forget about it. Anyway, that kid what tried to polish off your dad probably doesn't know a damn thing, but we can squeeze his base outta him and hopefully strike gold," he said, changing the subject.

"How long d'you think it'll take to get somewhere?" Yuffie asked, her voice tight and controlled.

"He'll probably take one look at Tseng, wet his pants, and spill all in thirty seconds," Elena said cheerfully. "We can probably get your dad on the line once Tseng gets to Wutai. Do you want to talk to him?" Yuffie considered this for a moment, then shook her head.

"Nah, he's totally fine. Besides, I'm still pissed at him for telling you it was okay to beat me up." She pushed away from the table and put her plate and cutlery in the dishwasher. "Dinner _was_ pretty good, Red. I guess I'll just see you guys tomorrow." Her voice was flat and monotone; Elena looked at her sharply, for just a flash, and then glared at Reno fiercely.

"Good night, Yuffie," the blond said, her sweet voice belying the fury of her gaze. Yuffie didn't look at either of them as she swiped her glass off the table and left the kitchen silently. When her door clicked shut, Elena struck out and slapped Reno on the back of his head.

"Yeah, yeah, I deserved that," he winced.

"_Stop_ bringing up Vincent around her," she hissed. Reno's eyes widened and he gestured toward the living room.

"She brings him up first! She's always talkin' about that damn vampire," he defended. Elena smacked him again.

"Because he broke her heart, you moron," she snapped. His eyebrow twitched.

"Then why's she always bringin' him up? Aren't you not supposed to talk about the people you don't like?"

"She doesn't hate him. She's just not over him. She probably doesn't want to talk about him, but so much relates back to him that it just… pops out," Elena explained. Reno blinked at her for a moment, then shook his head.

"_Women_," he muttered. He jabbed his fork at Elena. "You're all the same. '_I hate him, he stomped all over my emotions with hobnailed boots, but he's SO dreamy and handsome, but don't talk about him, I hate talking about him!_'" he simpered, his voice rising to a falsetto. His hand fluttered to his chest and he bat his eyelashes at her, and then he fixed her with a deadpan expression. "And you wonder why men can't ever figure you out."

"That is _so_ sexist, and it just makes you a big fat hypocrite, Reno." Elena dropped her voice several octaves. "'_I can't believe Sarah-Beth would up and leave me for some guy in the army, what's he got that I don't? You yahoos bring her up again and I'll shovemy EMR so far up your-_'"

"That was different!" he protested, cutting her off. She poked him hard in the chest.

"It wasn't. You're human, just like she is. You've both seen and done things that most normal people wouldn't even dream of, but you've both still got emotions. She can't help hers any more than you can help yours." Reno scowled, crossing his arms petulantly.

"Why you always gotta pull that touchy-feely crap on me?" he grumbled. Smiling, she pecked him on the cheek.

"Because you're just a big bowl of pudding under all that liquor." She picked up their dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. They made their way into the living room and sat down on the couch. Elena curled up against Reno's side, and he draped an arm around her shoulder. She flicked through the stations on the tele for a while, and eventually settled on 'The Prestige'. She snuggled into Reno's familiar, warm chest and cast her eyes on Hugh Jackman's handsome, rugged features.

* * *

His knuckles rapped on Yuffie's door. He waited, but he didn't hear anything. He knocked again, harder this time. Nothing. Cracking the door just no more than three fingers wide, he called, "Hey, midge." No answer. He pushed the door open gently and stuck his head in. The bed was vacant; the lamp cast its dim radiance across the room, which he scanned. No one. He was about to retreat, to maybe see if she were in the training room when he heard the faintest rustle of clothing in the corner of the room. Reno pushed his head into the room and twisted to look in the right corner.

Yuffie was curled up in the chair, a book dangling from her hand. Jezebel was draped over her lap, her green eyes nearly glowing.

"Can I come in for a minute, yo?" he asked. Yuffie's wrist twitched, and she shrugged. He stepped into her room, leaving the door cracked. Her brown eyes flicked to the door, just briefly, and her shoulders dropped a fraction. He moved toward her and sat down on the edge of the ottoman, his hands falling between his knees.

"There was this girl. Sarah-Beth. Most serious I'd ever been with a chick," he said, his voice quiet. Jezebel stretched her front legs out and touched his upper thigh with her paws, perhaps in silent support, but more likely because the giant feline had taken a shine to him. "Long, mournful story short, I just wasn't good enough for her."

"What's that got to do with me, turkey?" she asked, her voice less monotone than it had been before.

"Look, I'm no good with this shit," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't like people talkin' about her to me, and Rude kept bringin' her up and bringin' her up…" He shook his head, a grim smirk on his face. "I decked him."

"So you're sayin' I should punch you?" Yuffie asked; he could hear the smirk in her words. Reno winced.

"I guess I'd deserve it, if you really wanna… but what I'm try'na say is that I know why you talk about him, an' I know why you can't stand it when he's brought up," he mumbled. Yuffie stretched her leg out and shoved at Reno's hip. He looked up at her, and was relieved to see a small smile on her face.

"Now, c'mere and lemme show you what I wanted to last night," he said, standing up. He walked over to the wall to the left of her bed and kicked at the green paneling. Yuffie twisted to her feet and moved over to stand beside him, dropping her book on the bed. Reno crouched down and pressed on the panel. With a soft click, it moved back half an inch, which allowed him to slide it over. He stooped and folded his body nearly in half and slipped inside. Yuffie poked her head in and looked up at him. He was standing up in a narrow space behind the back wall. He looked down at her and grinned. He stepped down the walkway, giving her room to enter and stand.

"Is this where you lock me back here and have your way with me?" she wondered, staring around at the darkness. Reno chuckled.

"Not unless you want me to," he purred. Yuffie snorted and gave him a shove. "Naw, go that way." He pointed in the direction of Elena's room. They moved quietly; it was rather late and they didn't want to wake her up if she were asleep. He touched her on her elbow to signal her to stop, and he pointed down at a small handle on a panel. "This leads into Laney's room."

"What is all this?" she whispered.

"It's a safe house, yo. These were built into it, just in case. If someone gets in, you can get to us, safely," he told her quietly. He cocked his head to the side and held his finger to his lips, silencing her before she could speak. "Hear that?" His voice was barely above a whisper. They leaned in and pressed their ears against the wall, facing each other.

"_I miss you._" Elena's voice filtered through the wall, muffled and quiet, but discernible. Reno's eyebrows shot up, and Yuffie's crinkled in confusion.

"Tseng?" she whispered. Reno shook his head shortly.

"She hacked the phone; she's calling whoever she's seein'."

"_Everything is fine. I wish you were here_," she said, her tone wistful and almost sad. "_The nightmares started already. You've spoiled me._" She sighs, and they can barely hear it. "_No, Reno does help. But… he's not you. You know what to do._" She giggled softly. "_Just my knickers. The red ones you like_."

Reno's eyes widened and Yuffie stifled a giggle behind her hand. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away before they could hear any more that they shouldn't. They wandered past her panel and continued on to his. "One more thing at show you," he said, the smile still on his face. He pushed open his panel and bent down, stepping into his room. Yuffie followed him, and he held out his hand to her. She accepted it and pulled herself up. Reno walked over to his closet and opened the door; he pushed his clothes aside and flicked on the light. He jerked his thumb, motioning for her to look inside.

In the back of the closet, there was a large metal door with no handle. It was slightly ajar, and she pulled it open and looked inside. There were shelves with MRE's, bottles of water, and monitors that displayed the various rooms of the safe house. A stainless steel toilet was against the wall. A small cot hung suspended opposite it, and a sink was adjacent to that.

"It's a panic room. The button there on the wall," he pointed to a small number pad next to the door on the inside, "closes it. It can't be opened from the outside; this door is bullet proof and bomb proof. The code to open it is your birthday."

"Why are you showing me this?" Yuffie asked, somewhat cautiously. Reno sighed and raked a hand through his hair.

"I'm gonna level with you, princess. These Bones are good. It's not smart to think they couldn't find this place. It's well hidden and defensible, but they're not dumb. If anything happens, you gotta get to this panic room and shut yourself in, right away," he said, his eyes holding none of their usual mirth.

"What about you and Elena? I can't just leave-"

"You can and you will. We're here to protect you, and if we can't, you gotta get in here and stay in here until someone shows up. You'll be able to see what's goin' on through those monitors. Unless it's me or Laney, or anyone else you know, don't open that door." Yuffie crossed her arms.

"None of this is inspiring any confidence, yanno," she groused. Reno shrugged.

"I know, all this blows," he agreed. "But there's enough food an' water in there to last a month, but the most you'll be in there for is a day. Probably." They stepped out of the closet. He shut the door and turned to her. "Swear it, midge." He gazed down at her, no-nonsense and intense, and he found his hand reaching out for her wrist. He stopped, jamming the wandering appendage into his pocket. "Shit goes down, you get in there." Yuffie licked her lips and looked away.

"Fine," she finally said. She turned away from him and made toward the open panel of his wall. She paused, looking back over her shoulder. "Thanks, Reno." And she was gone, slipped through the hole in the wall like she hadn't just been standing there. The panel clicked shut, and there was silence.

Reno stood still for a moment, the hand in his pocket balled into a fist. He stared at the panel listlessly, trying to think of something, _anything_, other than the way she said his name.

* * *

_I tried to base Reno and Elena's relationship off of the kind I've got with my best friend. We can snuggle under blankets and sleep wrapped around each other and it's still totally platonic. I might edit this later, I might not. Depends how I feel about it in the morning, I suppose. Let me know what you think! Reviews make my day. Oh! Spot the movie reference (not The Prestige) and you win some of Reno's pumpkin pie, since they never ate it. _

_Peace, love, and chai~_


	5. Nightmares and Wutaiscapes

_She sprinted through the forests surrounding Wutai, low hanging branches slapping her face and sharp, bare branches scraping her legs. Ebony hair clung to her sweat dampened face, and the tails of her bandana were plastered to the back of her neck. Her fingers were sliced to ribbons from trying to pull the shuriken from the wall to free herself. Blood was splashed on her face and arms from trying desperately to bring a mangled Vincent back to life. She knew she'd been crying; her throat was thick and her eyes burned (or did she just get blood in them? She didn't know). She stumbled, tearing up her knees and forcing pebbles and dirt into the wounds on her hands. A whistling behind her stole her breath away. It was a faint, haunting melody that froze her blood with its closeness. Swallowing a cry of terror, she scrambled to her feet and took off again, her heart pounding as loudly, she was sure, as her boots on the earth._

_She heard gunshots and this time she did cry out, involuntarily ducking as she ran. The volume of the noise made it seem as though the gun had been fired right next to her. She cast wild, wide eyes around, but there was no one that she could see. She took a sharp turn and almost immediately slammed into someone. She stumbled backward a step, looking up into the man's face. Black hair, slicked back from his handsome face; blue, blue eyes that could only be the result of mako exposure; a familiar scar on his left cheek._

"_I'm sorry, little Treasure Princess," he said sincerely, mournfully. He reached out to her and she hastily backed up, only to bump into another person. A solid, masculine chest, a throaty chuckle, and then everything was cloaked in red._

"Vincent!"

Yuffie sat up in bed, covered in sweat and gasping for breath. She looked over at the glowing yellow numbers of her alarm clock; seven in the morning was normally too early for her to even think of consciousness, but the nightmare wasn't normal. It felt so _real_. What was Zack, of all people, doing in her dream, and why was he apologizing to her? Vincent died bloody and then was behind her, alive and well? But he barely knew how to smile, which made his laughter even more disconcerting. And that whistling; she couldn't get the tune out of her head. She sighed and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She gnawed at her lower lip, scuffing her bare feet against the plush carpet. Elena was insightful - maybe she could shed some light on her bizarre nightmares.

She pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of lounge shorts and opened her bedroom door. She looked to her right; the kitchen and living room lights were off and Reno's door was open wide, but it was dark within. To her left, Elena's door was ajar and soft light crept out. Yuffie padded toward Elena's room and poked her head inside. Her eyes scanned the room and came to rest on the backlit bathroom door. "Poop," she muttered.

"Actually, I think she's in the shower, yo."

Yuffie spun, startled, and was about to tell that gawky jerk off for nearly scaring her out of her shorts, but the words fled from her mind. Or maybe they swooned. The lounge pants he'd worn yesterday were soaked and slung low on his hips, their weight pulling them down lower than they should have been. He was shirtless; his lean, toned body was mostly dry, but there were a few spots, like his navel (that did _not_ look appealing in the slightest, no, no, nope), where water still clung to him. He held his shirt in one hand, the saturated material caught lazily on his long fingers (if he could wear wet pants, he could _definitely_ wear a wet shirt!). His bright red hair was a few shades darker than usual, unbound, soaked, and clung to every bit of skin that it touched. He wore the grin of a little boy who'd just dipped a girl's pigtail in a jar of paint, and it only widened as his blue-green eyes slipped down to her legs.

Yuffie was pretty sure that she looked constipated, or at the very least as if she were deeply concentrated on something. She forced down the evil little voice that cackled something about concentrating on remaining upright and shook her head.

"No need to deny it, sugar, that's where she is," Reno laughed. Yuffie made a face at him and stepped away from Elena's door.

"Is it safe to ask why you look like a drowned rat, or is it one of those pervy old man things?" she teased.

"Yeah, Laney and I made passionate turkey love in the pool," he drawled.

"And now she has to wash your cooties off?" Reno nodded sagely.

"No need to get jealous, though. There's plenty of cooties to go 'round," he soothed.

"As if," she scoffed. "She whooped your ass and then you dragged her into the pool for revenge?" she guessed. Reno grinned again.

"Almost. She whooped my ass _and_ shoved me in the pool," he laughed.

"Probably on principal for fighting like an eight year old," she concluded.

"Ow, my delicate masculine pride," he sniffed, touching a hand to his chest (which Yuffie fiercely avoided looking at). "What didja want, anyway? You out'a tampons or somethin'?"

"Yeah, I need two more to stuff in my ears when you start yappin'," she quipped. She waved off his feigned look of offense. "I had a question for her. Does she know anything about dreams?" And then an idea struck her. "Hey! You knew Zack Fair, didn't you?" The mirth faded in his eyes a little, his smirk slipping.

"Yeah, a long time ago. Why?" he asked, his tone subdued.

"What was he like?" she asked carefully. Reno rubbed the back of his head, mussing his hair.

"Good. That's the best way I can describe him. He was just a real good guy. Why'd'ya wanna know?" Yuffie stuffed her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt and bit her lip.

"It's kinda a long story," she muttered. Reno slid a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Alright. I'll change and you can ask away." He had stepped past her, but stopped and tossed a glance at her over his shoulder. "Unless you didn't get enough of my perfection." Yuffie shoved at his shoulder, sending him back on his way. She wandered into the kitchen and refilled Jezebel's bowls with food and water. Hearing the kibble hit the metal bowl, the giant cat came loping into the kitchen, pausing to rub against her mistress's legs affectionately. She bent to pat her beloved cat on the head, then turned to the refrigerator to retrieve the orange juice. She was pouring herself a glass when Reno walked in, stepping over Jezebel as if he'd been doing it for years. Yuffie glanced at him and Inner Pervert Yuffie squealed and did a happy dance. She wished she had an Inner Aeris or Tifa to slap Pervert Yuffie, but her luck had never been very good anyway.

"You call that getting changed?" she mused. She reached into the cabinet and pulled out another glass. His white shirt was unbuttoned, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His slacks were missing a belt and he was barefoot.

"Be grateful I put on this much," he muttered, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. He held the white stick between his lips as he gathered together what he would need to make breakfast.

"Pancakes or French toast?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"Oui, oui," she replied in her best horrible French accent. Smirking, Reno plugged in the griddle and removed a package of bacon from the refrigerator. He prepared the batter for the French toast in a large glass bowl, separated the bacon, and lit his cigarette while waiting for the griddle to heat. He inhaled deeply, then finally looked at Yuffie.

"What'cha wanna know about Zack for?"

"Well, I knew him a long time ago," she began. Reno exhaled abruptly.

"How'd you know him?" he asked.

"Tried to steal his materia, of course," she grinned at him. "Never got my hands on any of that, but I did get all the awesome crap he hunted down for me. He was such a softie," she snickered, recalling how she always swept in with her amazing ninja skills and nabbed the treasure right out from under his First Class nose.

"Yeah, it always was pretty easy to get Zack to do whatever you wanted," Reno agreed, smiling around his cigarette. "I got him to give Tseng a lap dance while wearing a Honey Bee costume once." Yuffie snorted, a loud, obnoxious guffaw that usually had people around her wincing; Reno grabbed his cigarette between his middle and index fingers and laughed with her. He took another pull of his cigarette and grinned broadly at her. "Once we get topside and I get my usual phone back, I'll show ya the pictures. I managed to keep 'em over the years."

"Does Cloud know?" she asked, her words carried on the bubbles of laughter.

"Naw, blondie was too young back then. Well, too young for the Honey Bee Inn, at least. Didn't stop Zack from taking the party back to him," he chuckled. He flipped a row of French toast and prodded bacon around.

"So he was a good guy? I mean, he wouldn't ever... hurt anyone, would he? Someone innocent?" she asked, somewhat subdued. Reno glanced at her, his blue-green eyes curious.

"Zack was... he'd do anything for his friends. I know... Tseng... we, uh. We were in the same boat as Zack for a while. Help your friends regardless of orders. We didn't have that SOLDIER honour he was always bangin' on about, though." A small, fond smile slipped across the Turk's face, slightly askew from his cigarette. "And he'd serve up a sword full'a fuck you to anyone who told him to hurt a friend, or someone who didn't deserve it." Yuffie bit her lip and snatched up a piece of bacon, passing it between her hands to cool it. "Why the sudden interest in 'im? He's been gone... a long while now," he said, his eyes rolling skyward, counting the years to himself. Yuffie chewed her bacon vigorously, her face uncharacteristically sullen. Reno turned to her and blew smoke into her face.

"Come on, princess. You can tell yer old pal Reno," he sang, poking her cheek. She made to bite the digit, but he pulled away in time to avoid being Yuffie chow.

"I had a dream about him," she said. He glanced at her sharply, inhaling on his cigarette. "If you keep looking at me like that, you're gonna stress me out and I'll steal your cigarettes," she groused. He put his hands up in surrender and then gestured for her to continue. "He... he called me Treasure Princess, and he was the only one who ever knew about that nickname. Then he.. apologized to me." She pulled her sleeves down to cover the backs of her hands.

"Why'd he apologize?"

"I was running from someone. I dunno who it was, but I heard him whistling. And then I turned and Zack was try'na grab me and apologizing for it, like he was working for the Bones or somethin'." She spoke rapidly, nearly working herself into hysterics. She could still feel the sweat on her face, could still see the cool moonlight guiding her, guiding her pursuers. Before her hands could start shaking, she reached up and plucked Reno's cigarette out of his mouth. She pressed her lips against the filter and inhaled, closing her eyes as the burn of smoke filled her lungs and throat. Reno chuckled and pulled out another cigarette, flicking the spark of the lighter against the tip.

"You'll kill yourself if you smoke those things, yanno," he said, his voice muffled once more. She blew smoke at him.

"The pot speaks." She hoisted herself up onto the counter next to the griddle, swinging her legs to beat against the cabinets. "I only smoke when I'm super stressed or worried." She snatched another piece of bacon up.

"I can't really see you stressin' over much, princess. 'Specially not some dream 'bout ghosts," Reno reasoned, his tone mild. "Shouldn't worry so much over a dream, midge," he advised. "A dream ain't gonna hurt'cha." Yuffie nodded and finished her cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray Reno had placed between them. She didn't tell him about Vincent's death and subsequent resurrection; she had a feeling that Reno couldn't handle hysterical women. She took a drink of her orange juice, letting it wash the residual smoke from her throat. Reno glanced over at her, blew smoke through his nostrils, then pulled his cigarette out of his mouth.

"I knew Zack. An' so did Tseng and Cloud. They'd all tell ya the same thing. The guy was hyper and friendly and the Midgar champ of Edward 40 Hands. He didn't have the capacity to be a douchebag," he assured her. His hand paused in the air for a second or two, as if he were going to reach out to her, but he retracted it before she looked up at him. She smirked, her cocky bravado back in its rightful place.

"Bet he sucked at Circle of Death, though." She hopped off the counter and began to pull plates and cutlery from the drawers and cabinets.

"Doubt it. Guy could drink like he had six livers. He said it was all the mako." Reno chuckled. "Said it helped him in other departments." He sighed wistfully. "Bet he woulda been a damn good lay." Yuffie giggled.

"Maybe that's why Cloud misses him so much," she laughed.

* * *

Tifa, Cid, Cloud, and the newly arrived Vincent Valentine were seated at the bar. It was closed that night, but never to friends. Cloud was seated at the end of the bar, doing a crossword puzzle and imbibing a whiskey sour. Vincent sat next to Cid and fixed his crimson gaze on Tifa.

"It's good to see you, Vincent," she said warmly. Vincent nodded.

"And you as well, Tifa." He wasn't one for small talk, but he believed certain conversational formalities should be observed. "How has business been?"

"Oh, things have been going well, overall. A little slow, with the Bones of Wutai being so bold, but it's not all bad," she said. "Do you want anything to drink?" He shook his head.

"No, thank you." He glanced around, taking in the sights and sounds of the bar. Marlene and Denzel were in bed, and quiet music could be heard from the old radio that Tifa kept behind the bar. "Where is Yuffie?" he asked. Tifa bit her lip. Telling Cid had been bad enough - the pilot treated Yuffie as if she were his daughter. Like any good father, he'd been outraged to learn that she'd been whisked away without so much as a goodbye. He then went through an entire pack of cigarettes and wandered around, muttering about breaking Bones and using them to fuel the Shera. Tifa knew how to handle irate fathers. Vincent, however, was anything but predictable.

"She's... well," she mumbled, not meeting Vincent's penetrating gaze. "The turks and Rufus put her into a safehouse," she finally blurted. "We don't have any idea where she is, but she's safe."

"You let the Turks take her?" he demanded without raising his voice.

"Her father is paying them," she said quickly. "He agreed to it."

"The Turks blow themselves up more often than they get anything productive accomplished," Vincent snapped. "The only one that might be even remotely capable of safeguarding her is Tseng, though I doubt he's left Rufus' side." Cloud smirked.

"Reno and Elena are with her," he said, his smirk widening as he watched his friend tense.

"The rookie and the whore?" the gunman growled.

"Reno and Elena aren't incapable," Tifa interjected. They frequented her bar enough that she trusted them; she hadn't forgotten what they'd done three years previous, or all the work they'd done for Reeve. "They'll keep her safe." She did her best to keep the uncertainty from her voice. She didn't doubt the Turks' skills. Rather, her uncertainties lay with the Bones of Wutai and how far they'd go.

"Oh, very safe," Vincent muttered sarcastically. "I am sure Reno has got her convinced that the safest place she can be is in his bed." Cid snorted.

"Give her some credit. She ain't stupid, and she ain't a kid anymore," he huffed.

"Besides, it's not like she's dating anyone," Cloud mused. Two pairs of eyes snapped up to Cloud sharply, while Cid suppressed a chuckle in his beer. "She can sleep with whoever she wants." Tifa tipped her forehead into the palm of her hand. She knew she should have cut Cloud off three drinks ago. Cid coughed, muttering something into his drink about Yuffie being pure and asexual and having zero knowledge of what goes on below anyone's belt.

Vincent stared at Cloud with an indescribable expression on his face. Most of his expressions were difficult to read, however, so Tifa couldn't tell if the gunman was about to have a mental break or if he was going to shoot Cloud. It wasn't surprising, however, when he stood up abruptly, upending his stool, and left the bar. Tifa sighed and made to move from behind the bar, but Cid waved her off and picked up the stool beside him. She thanked him wearily, then glared at Cloud, who smiled impishly at her. She was glad that Cloud was acting more and more like his old self - well, the self that he'd become after he'd escaped from Hojo's lab. She was pretty sure that the Cloud he'd been as a boy was so sizzled and fried with mako that it was beyond all recovery. Still, he talked more, even smiled occasionally. But he also had zero filter to speak of, especially after taking in a few drinks.

"Cloud," she began slowly. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why would you say something like that?"

"I'm not wrong," he pointed out, tapping his pen against the newspaper. "I don't see why Yuffie being single would upset Vincent," he said mildly.

"You _know_ why," she said sternly, crossing her arms.

"Valentine ain't got no right gettin' his panties in a bunch," Cid groused. "Not three weeks ago she was mopin' round my place 'cause he wouldn't take her on a date."

"A victory date," Cloud chimed in.

"Specifics be damned, he's been wreckin' that girl's emotions for years now," Cid snapped. "He ain't got no claim on bein' jealous now." Cid gave Tifa a smug little smile and jerked his thumb at Cid.

"What he said." Tifa really wanted to slap both of them.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't care about her - as a friend," she finished lamely.

"If he 'just' cared about her as a friend, like me 'n Cid here do, he wouldn't be throwing her in bed with Reno in his mind," Cloud reasoned. Cid nodded earnestly. Tifa wanted to scream, and suddenly missed the Cloud that didn't talk to anyone, ever. "Besides, I can see Yuffie with Reno more than I can see her with Vincent." Cid suddenly became very interested in his beer. Tifa groaned.

"Please, don't-"

"They're both certifiably insane," he said, happily ignoring her. "They could benefit from her kleptomania. He can keep up with her." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Let's face it, Vince ain't gettin' any younger." Tifa scrubbed a hand down her face, then glared at Cloud.

"I don't know who turned you into such a gossip monger-"

"Reno."

"- but you need to be quiet before you give Cid a heart attack," she admonished.

"He's nine years older than her," Cid grumbled unhappily. Cloud stood and moved to stand behind Cid, clapping the pilot on the shoulder.

"Vince is thirty-nine years older than her. That's only three years older than you." Cid groaned. "Suddenly nine years isn't so bad."

Behind the bar, Tifa gave Cid an apologetic look and resolved to never let Cloud have more than three whiskey sours again. "You really shouldn't be gossiping about Yuffie's love life when she's not here to defend herself," Tifa sniffed. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Fine, let's talk about the ones that _are_ here. I already know that Cid's bangin' Shera ("Damn straight!"). I'm dead inside, which just leaves you and Rude," he said, leering at his friend. Tifa flushed a deep red and turned around, putting Cloud's glass in the sink.

"There's nothing between Rude and I," she said quickly. Cid and Cloud exchanged grins.

"Sure, an' Vincent ain't out there weepin' in his Haagen-Dazs," the pilot reasonsed sarcastically.

"Vincent hates ice cream," Tifa said offhandedly. Cid gave her a pointed look, raising an eyebrow at her. The martial artist flapped her hand dismissively. "He just spends some evenings here. We talk." She put her hands on her hips. "Do you really expect me to not talk with my customers?"

"'Course not, but most customers don't sit here till three in the morning on a weeknight, nursin' the same pint o' beer till he wanders home," Cid chuckled.

"And he just sits there, looking at you like he's never seen a pair of double D's in his life," Cloud added. Tifa flushed again.

"You two are disgusting. He's a good listener," she mumbled. "And Cloud, I hereby forbid you from spending any more time with Reno. He's teaching you all sorts of bad habits. What would Aeris say?" Cloud winced a little at the mention of the flower girl.

"She'd probably be glad he's not sleepin' in a busted up church without a roof anymore," Cid declared. Cloud nodded.

"I'm with him." Tifa shook her head and stalked out from behind the bar.

"And _I_ am going to bed before you hens can come up with anything else about me or our friends," she said exasperatedly.

"You sure you don't want to hear our theory about Tseng and Rufus?" Cloud asked with a grin. Ignoring him, Tifa gave them each a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, guys."

* * *

Every night for the next week, Yuffie had the same dream. A dead Vincent, a haunting whistle, Zack, and a burst of red. On the eighth straight night of the dream, it changed. Nothing was different; it was extended. After backing away from Zack and bumping into the person behind her, she no longer heard the laughter. Now, she felt a strong hand grip her arm; it was not the unwelcome touch of a captor's grip. It was the firm, comforting hold of a friend, of someone who gave a damn about her safety. She spun, wanting to see Vincent, but all she saw was red. _'I've got you_' floated through her mind, voiceless, as if she herself that thought the words. She felt like the words were coloured, like the cool blue-green of the lifestream had been used to paint them in her mind's eye.

And then she woke. She was not as breathless this time, she noted with some satisfaction. It was also the middle of the night. Perhaps this was a good sign - she'd been able to wake herself before it escalated. Still, it was frustrating to her that that was the only bit of control that she had. Yuffie snuggled down in the bed and hugged a pillow close to her. For the next forty minutes, she tossed and turned in bed, not finding any modicum of sleep or rest. With an agitated sigh, she flipped back the blankets, shivering almost immediately at the chill in the air. She briefly wondered if it was snowing outside, wishing she could make a snowman and build a snow fort. Smirking to herself, she wondered if she could enlist Reno's help in burying Cloud's motorcycle under six feet of snow.

She slipped on a pair of shorts and her slippers and wandered out of her room. It was much warmer in the living room, she noted gratefully. A dim light was on in the kitchen, and her ears caught the sound of muffled talking. Yuffie entered the kitchen and Elena and Reno looked up from their conversation.

"Welcome to Insomniacs Anonymous," Reno greeted with a lopsided grin. He reached behind him and swiped a clean glass off the counter and proceeded to pour her a drink. He dumped some cola into the glass and passed it to her. Never missing a chance to admire her body, he raked his gaze over her small tank top and shorts. "We should have nightly meetings more often."

"He's still miffed that Tseng crushed his company pajama party idea," Elena grinned.

"I still think he just doesn't want anyone to see him in his moogle onesie," Reno maintained. "I'd wear _my_ moogle onesie."

"No one wants to see anyone in a onesie," Yuffie declared, and Elena nodded. "So what were you guys talkin' about?"

"Nothin' much. Just got off the phone with Rude. The kid that tried to whack your daddy-o didn't know anything, an' Godo had him tossed into the ocean with cement shoes. Very Capone," Reno informed her. "Oh, and Tifa says hi, miss you, yadda yadda, girly crap."

"You talked to Tifa and you didn't wake me up?" Yuffie whined.

"Naw, she just screamed across the bar. She's got a big mouth." Yuffie grinned.

"Just like everything else on her." She took a drink. "So we're no where with the Bones?"

"Not no where," Elena said brightly. "We've uncovered something of a shrine dedicated to Phoenix on a cliff overlooking the ruins of Midgar. We think the Bones were the ones who constructed it. And, Aya says she's close to honing in on some Emir that might be able to tell us more." Reno made a noise, and Yuffie glanced over at him. He looked slightly uncomfortable, but he belched and grinned at her. She snorted with a short laugh and then shifted her gaze back to Elena.

"Is Aya a Turk, too? I thought she ran a tea shop?"

"Aya's not a Turk; she's like an ace in the hole," Elena explained ("Tseng's an ace in _her _hole!" Reno laughed). "She's been secretly working for Rufus, keeping an eye on the Bones and the drug cartels for him, even before the Bones started causing trouble. Her tea shop is right across the street from some seedy dive that a lot of the scumbags frequent. She lives above the shop, so she can always keep an eye on them." Yuffie whistled.

"That's lucky. Is that how she and Tseng met?" Reno snickered.

"He didn't even know until after they were seein' each other. He wanted ta kill Rufus when he found out, but she's too useful to let go. Plus, she volunteered, and she's stubborn as Rufus is blond."

"It's so romantic, though," Elena sighed. "They practically work in the field together." Reno made a face.

"Spyin' on some stupid grunts ain't romantic. There ain't any fire or explosions," he complained, gesticulating with his hands and mimicking bombs exploding. "Aya told me what they do on their Shinra Sanctioned Stakeouts. They make googly eyes at each other over wine an' fancy cheese and take notes. It's _boring_," he whined.

"It is not!" Elena huffed.

"And your idea of a date is more exciting?" he countered.

"Fireplaces, snow, squashy armchairs, bear rugs, and dimly lit rooms-"

"_Boooring_," he droned. Elena harrumphed and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Dates aren't supposed to involve violence," she sniffed.

"Tell that to Tifa," Yuffie chimed. "She pops a ladyboner over those underground Fight Club style things." Reno's eyes sparkled with mischief.

"I doubt Rude knows this?" Yuffie snorted.

"I doubt anyone knows this. I had to get her _completely_ tanked before she told me." Reno grinned and pulled out his PHS, sending a quick text message to Rude.

"I owe ya one, midge," he said with a wink, snapping his phone shut.

"Of course you do. I'm a vast, sexy pool of information to get your bff laid," she crowed.

"We're still looking for the pool of information to help you, Reno," Elena said. "It's not going well."

"Fortunately for your flounderin' little search party, I'm witty and charmin' and shit like that. One look at these pretty eyes and the ladies fall all over me," he boasted.

"Since we know Reno's a lost cause for romance," Yuffie began, smirking at his feigned whine, "what else was there about this shrine?"

"Well, Phoenix is the god of Life and Rebirth. But, not many worship him anymore. Recent history provides us with evidence that the summons aren't really gods; they're more like extremely powerful beings that have control over whatever the goddess Minerva tasks them with. Most people today acknowledge this as fact," Elena explained.

"Except for Wutai," Yuffie murmured, thinking of their patron god, Leviathan. Elena nodded.

"Exactly. That's why we're so sure it's the Bones. Most Wutainese people living on the western continents practice quietly within their own homes, or they go to temples and churches. But this shrine was abandoned. It looked as though someone had tried to tear it down in a big hurry. We don't know why they'd build it in the first place, why they built it there, and why they up and left it," she said.

Yuffie worried her lip between her teeth. She'd been doing a lot of that lately; being worried, being afraid, being frightfully un-Yuffieish. She didn't usually want to tear her hair out, she usually didn't want to get blackout drunk and cry on someone's (read: Vincent's) shoulder. She was starting to feel like she'd be stuck underground forever.

She was snapped out of her miserable little reverie by Reno poking her glass against her arm. "You just let Tseng worry about things up there, princess." His voice was warm and thick with liquor, but his smile was sincere. Elena nodded her agreement.

"No one can figure things out like Tseng can. We'll get this sorted out and you'll be back with your friends before you know it," she assured her. Reno refilled her drink and looked at her seriously.

"But you got'ta promise we'll all still hang out; you got'ta join us on Friday nights, yo," he demanded. Yuffie's previously sullen expression lifted, and a wide grin slid across her face. "_Good_. Now, since you managed to change the subject, you slippery li'l shit, what's _your _idea of a date?" he drawled. Elena's brown eyes flickered to Reno for half a second, and she _knew_ he was perfectly aware of it, too. Yuffie swallowed her drink and smirked.

"Gettin' fallin' down drunk and tryin' to catch chocobos. Or Cloud. When you're drunk, they kinda look the same," she guffawed. "Or ordering pizza for breakfast. Oh!" She squirmed in her seat. "Playing tag in the marshes with the Zoloms! Bonus points if it's storming!"

"You'd best clear your schedule after this, princess, 'cause you an' me are goin' out," Reno announced. He'd been grinning at her from the moment she'd said 'drunk'.

"Maybe," she said slyly, taking another drink. Elena cast her eyes at Yuffie this time.

_Oh boy._

* * *

_In which Cid channels Bobby Singer. Yes, I realize that Cloud is probably [okay, completely] OOC, but he's so much **fun** to write that way. Apologies to Stephen King for butchering his book title. Reviews are like swedish fish to my depraved little soul._

_Peace, love, and chai~_


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